Keep Children in Rear-Facing Car Seats Longer

Image from Consumer Reports article cited below

As we head into the new school year and the holiday weekend, it is a good time to remind parents and guardians to double-check their car seat usage.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has issued new guidelines suggesting that parents keep their young children in rear-facing car seats until they reach the height or weight limits of that seat. 

In other words, don't be so eager to get those children front-facing because children really are safer rear-facing. 

In the past, AAP recommendations were age-based. Generally they recommended that children become front-facing at age two. But there is such a wide variation of size in children, even at the same age, that going only by age doesn't make sense. Also, research shows that rear-facing remains the safest position even for children older than two. Instead, parents should consult the height and weight limits of the car seat they use and use those to guide when to switch to front-facing.

Why Rear-Facing?

It's important to keep children rear-facing as long as possible because it protects the child's head and neck more completely. If a young child is front-facing and an accident occurs, the child's body is restrained but the head is thrown forward, placing tremendous stress on the neck and spine at a time when they are not very strong or developed. If the child is rear-facing in the same scenario, most of the force pushes the child's head and back into the support of the car seat behind them, lessening the stress on the back and limiting extension of the neck.

Research clearly shows that children are safer in rear-facing car seat positions whether the impact is from a head-on collision, a side-impact collision, or a rear-impact collision. This really is a no-brainer.

From the Consumer Reports article on car seat safety:

“Parents and caregivers should never be in a rush to move kids along to the next seat type or orientation,” says Emily Thomas, Ph.D., auto safety engineer at Consumer Reports’ Auto Test Center. “Each move to the next step can actually be a step down in terms of a child’s overall safety. In this case, making the transition to forward-facing too early exposes your child to head and spine injuries during a crash.”

General Car Seat Guidelines

Most parents do a pretty good job these days of using infant car seats correctly when babies are young. However, there is a distinct drop-off of proper use as the child gets older.

Car seat safety doesn't end when the child becomes a toddler or goes to preschool. Research shows that during routine car seat inspections, about one-third of children over 4 years of age were "suboptimally restrained." There's a lot of room for improvement here.

Consumer Reports suggests:

Parents can expect to need a minimum of three seats to best protect their children through the car-seat years: a rear-facing infant seat, a convertible seat (used rear-facing first, then transitioned to forward-facing when appropriate) and a booster seat.

Here are some suggestions for safer car seat use:

• Start with a rear-facing infant seat or convertible car seat. Always place it in the rear seat. The middle of the back seat is the safest spot in the car for a child
• Switch from a rear-facing infant seat to a rear-facing convertible seat "no later than your child's first birthday" This is because most babies outgrow their infant seat due to height, not weight, so be sure you pay attention to the height limits as well as weight limits
• Get the best convertible car seat you can afford, one that goes up to the highest height/weight limits you can find. Children really are safer rear-facing when they are young so find the car seat that will let you keep them rear-facing the longest
• Children should remain rear-facing until they have reached the height or weight limit for rear-facing children in that seat. At that point, switch to forward-facing in the convertible seat
• Stay in the forward-facing convertible seat until the height or weight limit is exceeded for the forward-facing position. Only then should you switch to a booster seat
• Use a booster seat until the child outgrows the height or weight limits of that seat and a lap/shoulder belt fits them properly. Most resources advise that children should be at least 4'9" tall and weigh at least 80 lbs. before they transition out of the booster seat. In some areas, 20% of child injuries under age 8 in car accidents resulted from using adult restraints instead of booster seats
• Keep children in the back seat until the teenage years (at least 13; in some states it is 14). Air bags in the front are rated for adults and can seriously injure or kill children. Older children may look fairly grown but their skeletal systems are still more vulnerable to force injuries. Restrained children in the front seat are about 40% more likely to sustain an injury than restrained children in the rear seat

There are so many car seats brands and types; each has its own height/weight guidelines. When in doubt, follow the guidelines that came with your car seat.

Always keep the car seat's guidelines with the seat so they are easily found for reference. Tape them to the back or side of the seat. Some experts also recommend writing or attaching an ID tag to the car seat with the child's name, parent names, and pediatrician's name/number. That way if there is a significant accident and a relative is unable to give information or medical contacts, first responders have a lead on who the child is, their medical professional, and a way to find medical history. If your child has special needs, this is particularly important.

Remember that there are many car seat safety inspection clinics available in the community. Please use them. You can be very well-educated and still make mistakes that could be deadly.

Many hospitals host car seat clinics regularly, and many fire departments and police departments sponsor them as well. Many parents go to these inspections when their kids are babies, but do not attend them once the child reaches pre-school or school age, thinking that they now know what to do. Yet frequent errors are found in children between ages four to twelve, and faulty restraint is a major cause of trauma and mortality for children of that age. Don't assume you have it all down; rules change at times and it's easy to overlook a recalled seat or a change in guidelines.

Dealing with Pressure About Restraints

One reason parents don't restrain their children optimally is due to a misunderstanding of the current guidelines. Guidelines do change over time as a result of research, but they represent the best current science on car seat safety that we have. As the research evolves, so do the guidelines.

Unfortunately, many family members and community members aren't familiar with the latest research or minimize its importance. Many parents give in to pressure from family members or peers about car seat rules or simply get lax about them as children grow older.

I know that car seat safety was a continuing source of discord in our family as we raised our children. My husband and I are in agreement on most parenting issues, but not always on safety issues. He and his family felt that many car seat safety guidelines were excessive and unnecessary.

Front-facing vs. rear-facing was one of our biggest ongoing arguments. My husband and his family felt that I was being way too cautious by keeping my children rear-facing, especially once in a convertible seat. They wanted that child front-facing sooner than later. This was probably one of the most contentious parenting battles we had.

It certainly was very tempting to turn the seat forward so I could see the child better when I was driving. I hated not being able to see what was going on with my infant when it was just the baby and me in the car. Also, once they were a little older, the children themselves wanted to be forward-facing so they could feel like Big Kids. It became like a rite of passage emotionally, both to the kids and to other family members. These are understandable reasons why parents ignore the guidelines ─ but the safety of the child should be the top priority. Rear-facing is safer.

The fight over car seat safety didn't end there. My husband and his family also strongly pressured me to switch my children to a booster seat long before they outgrew the height/weight guidelines on the convertible seat. They felt I was being too much of a worrywart and the current safety recommendations were excessive. They also felt the children would be more comfortable in a booster. Still, I didn't give in. I knew the children were safer in a 5-point restraint than using an adult seat belt on a booster.

Then of course, as the children got well into grade school, the family thought it was ridiculous to still have the kids in a booster. They pointed out how much more convenient it would be not to deal with boosters when carpooling or going on field trips. This argument resonated with me because not having boosters would certainly be easier, and I saw many of my children's peers starting to go without boosters. But again, boosters were safer and that's what really mattered. I gritted my teeth and held strong.

The battle continued as the children became pre-teens. They were no longer in boosters, but now they wanted to ride in the front seat instead of the back. My husband was particularly susceptible to this argument. We had to have this discussion multiple times until the law mandated that pre-teens had to be in the back. Then he had no choice but to follow the rules or risk a ticket.

He and his family always had good intentions and they were loving, supportive relatives, but they had a real blind spot about car seat safety. They simply refused to believe the guidelines. However, this was one thing I would not compromise on. 

The safety of my children was always the MOST important thing and I knew the research. So I put my foot down on this battle and would not budge, but let me tell you it wasn't easy sometimes. In the end, it was a battle worth sustaining.

Before you head out to school or on family trips, take a moment now to review the guidelines, review the height/weight limits on your current car seats, write in your children's IDs, and make sure they are properly restrained. Better safe than sorry.



Resources

• https://www.consumerreports.org/car-seats/new-rear-facing-car-seat-recommendations-remove-age-milestone/  - Consumer Reports summary of new car seat guidelines. Easy to read and understand
• https://www.cdc.gov/features/passengersafety/index.html - Center for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines on using car seats and when to switch. Note: Still has outdated guidelines on age
• https://www.consumerreports.org/convertible-car-seats/why-you-should-buy-a-convertible-car-seat-sooner-rather-than-later/ - when to switch from an infant seat to a convertible (but still stay rear-facing). Note: Older article, so it refers the outdated guidelines about ages for switching
• https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180403085051.htm - rear-facing car seats are safest for head-on crashes, side impact crashes, and rear-impact crashes
• https://saferide4kids.com/blog/can-children-sit-in-the-front-seat-car/ - when can kids right in the front seat of the car and why 
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21422088 - The old AAP guidelines with specific ages

J Trauma Acute Care Surg. 2015 Sep;79(3 Suppl 1):S48-54. doi: 10.1097/TA.0000000000000674. Car seat inspection among children older than 3 years: Using data to drive practice in child passenger safety. Kroeker AM, Teddy AJ, Macy ML. PMID: 26308122

BACKGROUND: Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of unintentional death and disability among children 4 years to 12 years of age in the United States. Despite the high risk of injury from motor vehicle crashes in this age group, parental awareness and child passenger safety programs in particular may lack focus on this age group. METHODS: This is a retrospective cross-sectional analysis of child passenger safety seat checklist forms from two Safe Kids coalitions in Michigan (2013) to identify restraint type upon arrival to car seat inspections... Just 10.8% of the total seats inspected were booster seats. Child safety seats for infant and young children were more commonly inspected (rear-facing carrier [40.3%], rear-facing convertible [10.2%], and forward-facing [19.3%] car seats). Few children at inspections used a seat belt only (5.4%) or had no restraint (13.8%). Children 4 years and older were found to be in a suboptimal restraint at least 30% of the time. CONCLUSION: Low proportions of parents use car seat inspections for children in the booster seat age group. The proportion of children departing the inspection in a more protective restraint increased with increasing age. This highlights an area of weakness in child passenger safety programs and signals an opportunity to strengthen efforts on The Booster Age Child.

J Pediatr. 2017 Aug;187:295-302.e3. doi: 10.1016/j.jpeds.2017.04.044. Epub 2017 May 25. Factors Associated with Pediatric Mortality from Motor Vehicle Crashes in the United States: A State-Based Analysis. Wolf LL, Chowdhury R, Tweed J, Vinson L, Losina E, Haider AH, Qureshi FG. PMID: 28552450

...Using the 2010-2014 Fatality Analysis Reporting System, we identified passengers <15 years of age involved in fatal MVCs, defined as crashes on US public roads with ≥1 death (adult or pediatric) within 30 days. We assessed passenger, driver, vehicle, crash, and state policy characteristics as factors potentially associated with MVC-related pediatric mortality. Our outcomes were age-adjusted, MVC-related mortality rate per 100 000 children and percentage of children who died of those in fatal MVCs. Unit of analysis was US state... RESULTS: Of 18 116 children in fatal MVCs, 15.9% died. The age-adjusted, MVC-related mortality rate per 100 000 children varied from 0.25 in Massachusetts to 3.23 in Mississippi (mean national rate of 0.94). Predictors of greater age-adjusted, MVC-related mortality rate per 100 000 children included greater percentage of children who were unrestrained or inappropriately restrained (P < .001) and greater percentage of crashes on rural roads (P = .016)... For 10% absolute improvement in appropriate child restraint use nationally, our risk-adjusted model predicted >1100 pediatric deaths averted over 5 years....

Should You Check Your Home for Radon?

January was Radon Action Month. As we finish up January and head into February, let's take a moment to raise awareness of this problem.

Radon is a colorless, odorless RADIOACTIVE gas that can be found in the soil in many areas. It is a leading cause of lung cancer in this country, second only to smoking.

However, there are no immediate symptoms that will alert you to the presence of radon, and you can't see it, smell it, or taste it. Therefore, you won't know if you have high levels of radon gas unless you test for it.

Have you had your home tested for radon? Here's what you should consider when making this decision.

Radon in the Home

Radon gas is created when radioactive elements (like uranium) decay in rocks and soil. The gas moves through the soil and can be pulled into homes by slight pressure differences. It typically enters through cracks in the foundation, around construction joints, through small gaps near pipes and cables, or through sump pumps and drains. Once inside, it can get trapped and build up to high levels that endanger long-term health.

Homes that have basements, cellars, crawl spaces, or lower levels are particularly prone to high levels of radon, but it can be found even in homes without these. Radon can also be a problem in well water.

But unless you actually test for radon, you can't tell how much is ─ or isn't ─ in your house.

Cancer Risk

Radon is an important public health issue because being constantly exposed to high levels of radon over time can lead to lung cancer.

How can radon gas cause lung cancer? One article gives a brief explanation:

Radon gas breaks down and releases small particles that can get trapped in your lung. Those particles can release tiny bursts of energy called alpha particles that can damage lung tissue. Alpha particles cannot pass through the skin. The damage done in your lungs by the alpha particles can lead to lung cancer over time. 

Radon exposure is the second leading cause of lung cancer after smoking. It is thought that about 13% of all lung cancers are caused by radon exposure.

The U.S. government estimates that about 21,000 deaths per year are due to radon exposure, though most of those deaths are in smokers. People who both smoke and are exposed to radon are at particularly high risk for developing lung cancer because smoking and radon are powerfully synergistic. Some sources estimate that smokers exposed to radon have 25x the risk for lung cancer than non-smokers exposed to radon.

As a result, some public health commentators believe that radon-reduction campaigns exaggerate the risks to non-smokers and should target only certain areas of the country where radon levels are particularly high.

Risks Vary by Area

Not all areas are at equal risk for radon exposure. In the U.S. map above, areas in the darkest colors are the most at risk for high radon exposure. Homes in Iowa and parts of Pennsylvania are considered at particularly severe risk for radon contamination.

But again, the only way to know if your home is at risk or not is to test. You can live in an area that is at lower risk overall from radon and still have a house that has high levels of radon.

About 1 in 15 American homes are thought to have high levels of radon. Thus, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) recommends that all homes should be monitored for radon.

Radon testing kits are relatively inexpensive and can be found in local home improvement stores. There are short-term kits (that measure exposure over a few days) and long-term kits (that measure exposure over a few months, generally considered the most accurate). Follow the directions on the package, then mail in the results. You will notified of the findings soon after and can take action accordingly.

Mitigation usually involves sealing any foundation cracks or construction joints, and installing a way to vent the radon gas from the most affected areas. Some cases can be fixed for a few hundred dollars by someone comfortable with DIY, but more significant cases need trained professionals so it can be done properly, and this cost usually runs $1000-2000.

Because of the cost of mitigation and the uncertainty of the impact of moderate levels of radon on non-smokers, radon testing remains controversial to some. Critics maintain that radon testing is a waste of time in low-risk areas, and should be saved only for high-risk areas or for houses with smokers.

Also controversial is what level of exposure presents enough risk to make mitigation worthwhile. Clearly, high levels of radon (near 20 pCi/L) present significant risk and should be identified and mitigated. Lower levels are more controversial. The EPA recommends an action level of 4 pCi/L whereas other countries recommend 5 pCi/L or even more. On the other hand, some U.S. states recommend getting radon levels down to less than 2 pCi/L. More data is needed.

Please note, radon is not just an issue for homes. Only about 20% of schools in the U.S. have been tested for radon. Since students and teachers spend long hours in these structures most days of the week, they are another potential source for radon exposure. Has your child's school been tested for radon? How about your office? How extensive should testing for radon exposure be?

Why I Care About Radon

Why do I want to educate people about radon? Frankly, I didn't care about it until recently. I heard about it on a TV show many years ago and figured it was just another over-exaggerated health scare to make money for unscrupulous "repair" companies.

However, I changed my mind a few years ago after doing more research into the matter. Frankly, it really looked legit. Nothing to panic over, mind, but something to definitely be aware of.

So we tested our house for radon a few years ago, not really expecting to find a problem. Turns out the area around the kids' bedrooms had quite high levels of radon, even though we live in an area not at high risk for radon. We put in a radon mitigation system post-haste because the levels were pretty elevated. The levels are down to normal now, but we will re-test every few years just to make sure the system is still working efficiently.

I also care now because I think radon may have contributed to my father's death, along with smoking.

Like many soldiers, my father took up smoking in WWII; he smoked for 20 years afterwards. He quit when I was young, but was around second-hand smoke in his job at times.

He also grew up in an area known now for high radon levels. Of course, there's no way to prove that radon had any impact on him. We don't even know for sure that he was exposed. However, the city he grew up in has some of the highest radon levels in that state, and most of the houses there have basements, so I think he probably had a strong chance of exposure.

Although it's impossible to prove, I think the combination of growing up in a high radon area, 20 years of smoking, and years of second-hand smoke tipped him over into lung cancer, even though he had not smoked in nearly 30 years. Sadly, his lung cancer was inoperable. His cancer eventually spread to his brain, and this very intelligent man who loved to discuss theology was reduced to not even being able to operate his TV remote. He died 3 years after his diagnosis. We had to watch him slowly suffocate to death, and that was really terrible.

Sad as his death was, that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone should consider testing; smoking was clearly the biggest culprit in his death. However, the fact that high radon levels were found in my own home nowadays, even in an area not at high risk for radon, suggests to me that more widespread radon testing seems pretty sensible for most areas.

Final Thoughts

At high enough levels over time, exposure to radon gas clearly increases the risk for lung cancer, which is a very intractable and nasty form of cancer. Therefore, the EPA, Surgeon General, American Lung Association, American Medical Association, and National Safety Council all recommend testing your home for radon.

This testing seems sensible to me, especially if you are in an area known to have moderate or high levels of radon, or if you have smokers or former smokers in your home. It is more debatable in areas at very low risk for radon but personally I would probably err on the side of testing most of the time.

It is also not completely clear at what level of exposure mitigation is truly needed. Certainly high levels need mitigation and I strongly believe in taking action in that situation. It also seems like a sensible precaution to me to treat even at only modestly raised levels but I would like more reliable data on just where that treatment line should be drawn.

Factors in your decision on whether to mitigate may include how high the radon levels are, where in the home these levels occur, how much time people spend in this area, the type of soil around the home, whether there is a history of smoking in any family member, etc. If your test results are borderline, you might want to repeat the test before making a decision, since radon levels can fluctuate over time. More data may give you a better picture of the risk.

It's important to point out that testing doesn't commit you to doing mitigation. The test is very easy, not expensive, and pretty effortless to use. Once you have your results, you can decide what, if anything, to do about it. But you can't do anything if you haven't had your home tested. 

Clearly, smoking and radon exposure are an extremely bad combination, so your best prevention is not to smoke. But even if you have never smoked, radon exposure can be a risk. Most importantly, it is a risk that can be mitigated...but only if you test for it. 

So while I believe in taking a moderate, sensible approach to radon testing (and would like more reliable data on which to make decisions), on the whole I do think radon testing is worth doing.

But as always, the decision to test or not remains your decision.

You can find out more about radon here, here, here, and here. Click here for a link that will help you find the risks in your particular state.

The Importance of Chores

Every so often I go on a parenting rant. Today is one of those days. I need to rant about the importance of chores.

I think assigning kids chores is a vitally important part of parenting. Yet I know too many parents who don't give their kids chores (or who give only minimal chores). 

This past summer we had two extra kids at our house for a couple of months as a favor for someone whose housing had fallen through between jobs. These are great kids and we care about them, so for the most part we didn't mind having them over, but there was one piece of major friction. They had very little experience doing chores and great resentment at being expected to help. That created some real conflict.

This has been a chronic problem. In the past, when visiting, these kids would open a piece of string cheese and drop the wrapping on the floor rather than take it to the trash. I was floored that they expected others to clean up their mess for them. What parent doesn't teach their child to pick up after themselves?

Well, they quickly learned that when visiting our house, you have to help maintain the space you live in. I didn't expect them to do the same level of cleaning as my kids, but they did have to help pick up toys, clean the room they were in, and do some vacuuming. They did it, but oh my goodness, the whining and moaning that went with that ─ it was ridiculous! But at least they got some exposure to these skills and some experience doing them for a few months.

Sadly, it didn't last once they moved back in with their parents because no one there asks them to help clean, and their parents do only the most minimal cleaning themselves. Obviously, this is a learned behavior. But what is it teaching them for later on in life?

These kids were outraged that my kids have to do chores. In fact, they sowed dissension by constantly telling my kids how horrible they have it because they have to help clean. One of the visitors actually told me I was a bad parent because my kids had "too many chores." Imagine! No, my kids are not domestic slaves, but I do expect them to pitch in and help with the upkeep of the house and yard. Duh. They live here, they help out.

Now, these temporary visitors are not bad kids. They are generally pretty nice and have good hearts, so I took the criticism as an opportunity to open a discussion about the responsibility to help the community you are a part of, but it still appalls me that they think that doing basic chores is excessive.

How in the world are they going to become competent adults who take care of their own household if they never learn the skills to do so? How are they going to be good employees later on if they feel incredibly put upon just cleaning up their own darn mess? How are they going to learn to be considerate of others if they expect others to constantly take care of their needs?

An article in the Wall Street Journal notes:

In a survey of 1,001 U.S. adults released last fall by Braun Research, 82% reported having regular chores growing up, but only 28% said that they require their own children to do them.

That number seems distorted to me, frankly. I doubt that only a quarter of parents today are having kids do chores. But from my observations as a teacher, I am pretty sure that it's true of quite a few families. And I'm shocked at the number of friends of ours who have their kids doing only the most basic of chores.

Now of course, every parent gets to make their own parenting decisions, and no one made me the boss of parenting rules. Every family has to work out their own family balance of various tasks. The way our family divides up the chores doesn't have to be the way someone else's family divides up their chores.

But there is a trend right now away from having kids do many chores, and I believe this is doing a real disservice to those kids.

Chores ─ substantial chores ─ are important in developing a child's character.

Why Do Chores?

Why is it important to have kids help out with chores around the house? Partly it's about developing important life skills that they will need as adults. But I really believe it's more about developing the child's character.

Chores Teach Life Skills

Many kids have no idea how to clean a house, how to cook a decent (non-fast food) meal, or how to do their own laundry. They have no idea how to grow food, take care of a car, weed a garden, or do maintenance tasks around the house ─ because no one has taught them how to do it.

Someday, kids will have to take care of themselves. These skills don't just magically appear at age 18; they have to learn them somewhere along the way. Many schools don't have Home Ec classes anymore, so the only place they will learn these life skills is at home. The best way to learn is by doing. And the best way to learn is to start with a little bit at a time, practicing from a very young age, rather than expecting them to suddenly learn these skills all at once when they move out.

Chores Teach a Work Ethic and Good Habits

Kids need to develop a work ethic. They need to be assigned a task, learn how to complete that task satisfactorily, and then actually complete it. They need to do it over and over again, as part of a routine. They need to learn how to do the rhythm of daily chores, weekly/monthly chores, and periodic deep cleaning chores.

A work ethic for an adult job doesn't just magically spring to life at 18. Developing a work ethic comes from doing chores as a kid, taking care of animals, helping with siblings, completing your homework on time, and helping others out in your community.

Kids who don't do chores and who aren't held to any kind of standards regarding homework and other work never really learn this work ethic. They become incapable adult workers who constantly feel put upon because they have to do things they don't like and things that take real effort to complete. If things go wrong, it's always someone else's fault, and they rarely get things done on time or with satisfactory results.

Chores Teach Strength of Will

Kids need to develop the ability to do things that are hard. Many kids won't try something that is hard, or they give up halfway through because they lack the strength of will to finish things or to make themselves work hard. They want everything easy and handed to them on a plate with very little effort.

Chores, music lessons, sports, crafts, art, exercise, hobbies...all these things help teach strength of will. They help kids learn to apply themselves by doing things that are hard at first, that take perseverance, that take daily discipline.

Chores Teach Accountability and Responsibility

Adults are held accountable for doing their jobs at work, for taking care of themselves and their families, for keeping up the homes they live in, for paying taxes, etc. Accountability doesn't just magically appear. It takes daily application of micro-doses of responsibility and then being held accountable for those small responsibilities.

Children must be held accountable for completing their chores satisfactorily. Otherwise, you negate a large portion of the lesson on work ethics. A job halfway done is not a job well-done. Doing the follow-through is just as important as giving chores in the first place.

Chores Teach Independence and Accomplishment

Kids need to learn how to do tasks without constant supervision and hovering. They need to be shown how to do certain chores, then given the chance to actually do them, even if that means failing at them at first. Learning how to improve is part of the process. When kids learn how to do a chore well, there is a feeling of accomplishment. If an adult steps in and does the chore for them, they don't develop that feeling of competency.

Kids also need to keep practicing chores until they can do them on their own, without being asked. This is one of the hardest parts, but it's still important to strive for it. When they can be trusted to do their chores without being nagged, they develop a feeling of independence. They know that yes, they CAN do hard things, and do it on their own. This will be a huge help as they move into adulthood and are required to do things without reminders or someone holding their hands.

Chores Teach Contributing to the Community 

Children are inherently selfish when they are little. At first, they think about their own needs, not the needs of others, and they want to be taken care of, not do the caretaking. But children live in a larger community, and they need to see the bigger picture. Chores help them see that sometimes you have to do things that are not immediately gratifying in order to make the space a better place to live or to help out others who need the help.

Kids often don't understand the amount of work that goes into taking care of a household. Chores help them begin to see how everyone in a household has to contribute in order to keep up the household and keep it functioning. Chores also teach kids to help others and to contribute to society at large, not solely to their own happiness and gratification.

Barriers to Chores

To me, chores for kids is a no-brainer. But of course, if doing chores was easy, it wouldn't be such a stress in so many households.

There are many barriers that can get in the way of giving kids chores and holding them accountable. They are all real and understandable concerns. However, as parents we have to find a way around these barriers so that kids develop these important life skills and character traits.

"I Don't Want To Burden My Children"

One barrier is the parent who wants to give his kids the "gift" of a chore-free childhood so they can just play and enjoy themselves the whole time.

I'm a major fan of unstructured play for kids, so I hear this argument. Unstructured play is how kids learn best for a long time. Our kids today have far too many activities and need more time just for playing.

But giving kids the gift of lots of play time doesn't have to mean that they can't have chore time too. It doesn't harm a child to do a reasonable amount of chores; on the contrary, it strengthens them.

Of course, children should not be slaves, either. You do have to find a sensible balance, but keeping the child from having enough chores is really not doing them a favor.

"My Kids Are Too Busy"

On the opposite side of the spectrum are the children who are so overscheduled that they "don't have time" to do chores. These are stressed-out kids who need down time, so parents regularly excuse them from having to do any chores.

In this situation, parents need to re-think their children's schedules. Kids' activities are important character-builders, but too much is just as harmful as too little. Chores and unstructured free play time are vital for mental and emotional health. If your kids are "too busy" for chores, then it's time to find more balance in your home life.

Remember, the rhythm and structure of regular chores actually helps calm stressed-out kids and provides them a release from their busy schedule. It provides a transition time from a frenetic schedule to the down time they need so much.

"I Want Them To Focus on their Studies"

Some parents justify not giving chores because they view the child's main job as studying for college.

It is important for kids to do well in school and build their academic skills, whatever their future career path. But the personal growth skills they build from having chores helps in that process. These skills do not exist in a vacuum; building accountability, responsibility, and learning how to do hard things will only help them in their academics.

Parents can find a way to help kids learn how to schedule their time so they can manage academics, activities, chores, and playtime. Sometimes, flexibility will be needed, of course. During particularly busy times, you may need to negotiate a compromise. But too much focus on academics or activities at the expense of other things is harmful too.

"I Can Do It Faster and Better"

Probably the biggest barrier is that sometimes it's just easier to do the chore yourself! You are better at doing the chore, you are going to do a more thorough job, and you can usually get it done in half the time. Plus then you don't have to listen to them whining about having to do it, which seems to be universal for kids these days.

But again, you are not doing the child any favors by doing it for them. You have to be willing to let them fail at the chore, to slowly learn how to get better at the chore, and to learn how to do it more efficiently. THAT'S how they learn the accountability and responsibility and independence.

It doesn't just happen magically; it's a process. And you have to let go of control enough for them to work through that process on their own, even if that means the chore is done less than perfectly at times. For some parents, that letting go of control is the most difficult thing of all, but it's important that we do.

Parents Who Do Too Much

Another barrier is the parent who feels that he or she has to do it all for the kids. Women are particularly prone to this trap because many of us were taught that housecleaning is the woman's main responsibility and having a spotless house is part of being a "good mother," but men can be martyr parents too.

Parents are not meant to be slaves, doing everything for children. We do our children no favors if we do too much for them. It infantilizes them and keeps them dependent.

When children grow up seeing others taking care of all their needs, they begin to feel entitled to it. They grow up expecting others to take care of them, rather than taking care of themselves. They grow up dependent on others, instead of becoming independent and learning to do for themselves. This can transfer to dependency in their adult life as well.

Give your children the gift of independence and self-sufficiency. Let them learn to take care of themselves and others, not just be taken care of.

Gender-Related Chores

Another barrier to independence is gender-related chores. Even today, many girls are expected to do far more housework than boys are. Even when boys are given cooking or cleaning chores, they may not be held to the same standard of quality as women. Conversely, boys are expected to do far more yardwork than girls and girls aren't expected to know how to fix things or handle tools.

This is harmful in many ways. Boys learn the lesson that women are "supposed" to take care of them. This makes them dependent on women and incompetent to take care of themselves. Girls learn that they "need" boys to take care of the house and yard, and grow up feeling helpless around tools and mechanical/physical work.

Both genders should be doing all types of chores. Our boys need to learn to cook, clean, and care for others, and our girls need to learn to care for the maintenance needs of the house and yard. If it's a life skill that might be needed someday, both genders should learn it.

Sometimes, it makes sense in some households to divide chores along traditional responsibilities for a while. That's up to you. But take the long view; kids should learn all types of chores so they know how to do them all. Teaching them only half the chores handicaps them in the long run; someday they may be forced by circumstances to do the jobs they never learned.

The Messy House Conundrum

Sometimes kids don't follow through on chores and it can leave you with a messy house. And then people coming by judge you for your messy house, or the incomplete chore impedes the smooth running of your house.

The conundrum is, when kids don't do their chore, do you do it for them? Many parents do because it's just easier. But what is this teaching the kids? They are not learning to be accountable for their chore. It's better to leave the chore undone until the child can be held accountable and complete the task.

Of course, there are nuances here. Some chores (like taking care of animals) can't be put off because lives are depending on it. Some chores just have to get done in order for the household to function. And sometimes kids get super busy and you need to help out with chores for a while as a compromise.

There's going to be times when you help out, but it shouldn't be a regular thing. Otherwise, the child is really not being held truly accountable, and that's one of the main underlying reasons for chores.

Final Thoughts

Of course, theory is always easier than putting something into practice. Our family struggles with chores, like every other family. My kids do more chores than most of their peers, but they do far less than a lot of kids who grow up on ranches or farms. Finding that combination of enough-but-not-too-much is tough and takes some experimentation.

Most parents would agree that children need to do some chores. However, trying to figure out how much, what chores, at what age, and how to hold them accountable is a difficult job. Every family will come up with different answers.

When considering chores for your own household, think about the following things:

• What chores need to be completed around the house
• Which chores are most meaningful for the smooth running of the household
• What are the ages and capabilities of your children
• What life skills do you want your children to learn and by what age
• What is a realistic chore load for them and for you

Start them young. Young children can do more than you'd think, and they love to help at first. Start by having them help clean up their toys. Give clean-up time a regular routine; all toys picked up as part of getting ready for bedtime, or helping clean the kitchen immediately after dinner. Sing a particular song or make a game of it to make it more motivating. The key is having as regular a structure as possible.

As they get a little older, children can help with other tasks like sorting laundry, setting the table, taking dirty dishes to the sink, wiping down the table, etc. In the later grade-school years, they can start doing harder chores, like vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, recycling, taking out the trash and compost, etc.

By the time they are in middle school, kids can do their own laundry and some house and yard maintenance (raking leaves, mowing the lawn, gardening, weeding, composting, etc.). By high school, they should know how to cook a number of basic dishes and practice that by fixing dinner for the family on a regular basis. They should also help out with maintenance chores like deep cleaning, changing furnace filters, maintaining the family car, winterizing the house, etc.

Most people think that high school is when the chores should really kick in, but honestly, our experience is that high school is when it gets most challenging. Once they get really busy with their studies and activities, it's far too easy to step in and do chores for them. Yet as they grow closer to being on their own, it's more important than ever for them to learn life skills and how to manage their time to complete all their obligations. So instead of chores getting easier with age, you may find that you have to be even more strict about chore expectations. 

However, I'm not a fan of tying allowances to chores. Kids should help around the house and yard because they are part of the family unit that lives there, not because they need to be motivated by money. You shouldn't have to bribe your kids to do chores. On the other hand, it's okay for kids to have the opportunity to earn extra money if they volunteer for special projects or extra-big chores.

Flexibility is key. There's no one-size-fits-all chore list that works for each family. Each chore list has to be adapted to your own particular situation and needs.

The point is to make sure that children have regular chores that they are responsible for, and to hold them accountable for doing those chores. 

All too soon your children will be adults and out on their own. Will you have taught them the majority of what they need to know to live on their own? Will they be responsible community members who help out others? Will they know how to be accountable for their work? Or will they expect others to always take care of them and not know how to care for themselves?

Chores are a VITAL part of parenting. Make sure that you are holding your children responsible for helping out around the house. It's one of the harder parenting tasks, honestly, but it's one of the most important ones. 

Kiss Your Babies

My oldest son, age 1.5.
He left for college this week!

Sorry for the delay in posts. Don't worry, I will have new ones up again soon. I have several important ones in the works.

Why the delay? Well, we've been busy getting the school year going and getting my oldest son off to college. We moved him into his dorm this week. I did really well at holding it together and not being emotional until the car radio began to play "The Cat's in the Cradle." Uh-oh.

You know, it's trite what everyone says, but it's really true ─ they DO grow up so fast! It seems like only yesterday this boy was a newborn and we were getting used to life with more than one child. Here is a picture of him as a toddler, running as fast as his little legs would let him to keep up with his older sister and his cousins. He's always been a kid on the move, with things to do and people to see.

Now he is an adult, running away from us instead of towards us. He's an adult, starting the process of making his own way in life. [Say what?!?!?! He was a baby just a moment ago! Sob!]

Go, kiss your babies! Right now! Take time to spend it with them on the little things like playing games, making music, sitting around a campfire, having dinner as a family, reading books together, spending time in nature, and taking trips when you can. It's these small moments that you particularly remember and which really build the connections. Make precious memories and take lots of pictures! Enjoy every moment, for they will be grown up all too soon.

Well, he came from college just the other day, So much like a man I just had to say, "Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?" He shook his head, and he said with a smile, "What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little boy blue and the man in the moon. "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when, but we'll get together then, dad. You know we'll have a good time then."

Adventures in Gardening: Hügelkultur Experiments

Periodically, I write about gardening on this blog. I'm sure some readers scratch their heads and wonder why, given that I generally focus on issues pertinent to weight or on pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding, but I view gardening as part of the mission of this blog too.

I write about gardening for several reasons. First and most importantly, I write about gardening as part of my Health At Every Size focus. I think it's obvious that as a society, we would be better off if we ate fewer processed foods and more whole foods, and gardening is an important part of the "slow food" movement. It promotes better nutrition and gives us exercise, all in one convenient package. Not that we all have to be perfect or obsessive, but striving for more whole foods is just common sense.

Second, I write about gardening as part of my Parenting focus. Kids will eat more vegetables and fruit if they help grow it themselves, and it's good for kids to appreciate the kind of work it takes to provide the food we eat. Far too many kids have no concept of how food reaches their table. Gardening also helps kids connect with nature, gets them outside, gives them exercise, and helps them learn to care responsibly for living things. I think every child should learn to garden in one degree or another.

Finally, I write about gardening as part of my Emergency Preparedness message. It's important as parents to have a stock of food on hand in case of a natural disaster or other emergency. Too many people are completely dependent on grocery stores for all their food, and most have very little stored food in reserve for emergencies. Gardening helps you have a renewable source of healthy food for your family. Gardening also lends itself to preserving, which helps you keep a stock of preserved food around. It's important that we keep gardening and preserving skills alive for our children, and it's also important to have a food reserve for our families in case of an emergency.

Gardening is a win-win all around on so many levels. Even though it might not seem like a logical topic for this blog on the face of it, it really does fit my blog mission too.

Today I wanted to share about a gardening experiment I've been toying around with this year. It's called Hügelkultur gardening.

Raised Beds on Steroids

Since a big car accident a few years ago significantly damaged my knees, I mostly garden in raised beds now. Saves my knees a lot of grief and my back likes it too. I'm a real fan of raised beds.

But raised beds have challenges too. They are more watering-intensive; they dry out sooner and need to be watered more often. Being the lazy, less-than-attentive gardener that I am, I'm not always good about watering regularly, which can be stressful on the vegetables.

Also, the soil in raised beds can get "tired out" and depleted of nutrients if you don't refresh them regularly. I prefer to garden organically, so I've been experimenting to see how I can best "feed" the soil in my gardens without having to resort to artificial fertilizers or additives.

It was in response to these challenges that I began to learn about a new/old technique called Hügelkultur Gardening (pronounced HOO-gull-cul-ture). 

Hügelkultur Gardening Basics

First layer of hugelkultur bed - pieces of wood in various
sizes. Image by Jon Roberts, from Wikimedia

Although Hügelkultur gardening has been practiced in several different cultures, the name is German and the idea was popularized by permaculturist Sepp Holzer.

Basically, it means "Mound Culture" or mound gardening. You pile a bunch of wood in various stages of decomposition at the bottom of the pile, water it in well so the wood soaks up the water, then add other layers of soil, kitchen waste, leaves, straw, compost, manure, bark chips, etc. until you have a mound. Then you plant in that mound.

Sometime the mound is small, sometimes it's large, but you basically are planting in a compost pile that's in process. Using different sizes of wood means that it processes slowly and that the nitrogen from the kitchen waste etc. does not overwhelm the carbon content, which is a common problem in many compost piles.

The benefits of hügelkultur are:

• it improves soil fertility (through decomposing organic matter)
• it aerates the soil and improves its structure (the soil around the logs naturally creates air pockets, which helps keep the soil from compacting to much, thereby improving its structure)
• it improves water retention (water is released slowly over time from the water-soaked logs, necessitating less watering in the drier months after the first year or two)
• it warms the soil (making it easier to plant earlier and longer in the growing season)
• it promotes earthworms and other beneficial animals/fungi in the garden (they are attracted to the decomposing organic matter and help break it down)

Permaculturists like hügelkultur because it recreates replenishment of soil in the garden in the same way that it happens in nature:

Hügelkultur replicates the natural process of decomposition that occurs on forest floors. Trees that fall in a forest often become nurse logs decaying and providing ecological facilitation to seedlings. As the wood decays, its porosity increases allowing it to store water "like a sponge". The water is slowly released back into the environment, benefiting nearby plants.

Image from richsoil.com 

Personally, it's the watering benefits I'm most interested in. While my area of the country gets lots of moisture in the winter, we get very little during the summer, so we have to do a lot of watering in the summer. My new hügel bed is on the side of my house that doesn't have easy watering access, and it's far away from the raised garden beds that get my main (if inconsistent) watering attention. I wanted more gardening space but less upkeep, so I'm hoping the new hügel bed will help by giving me a new garden space that I don't have to spend so much time watering.

There are lots of different ways to do hügel beds. Although it is helpful to read up on ways to optimize the process, it's basically just planting into soil mounded over buried wood. Some online accounts make it seem complicated, but if you keep in mind the basics, the process is pretty forgiving.

Some people like to build their hügel beds in a trench. You dig a long hole, pile up woody debris in it, then fill in the gaps with kitchen waste, compost, straw, etc. until you have a good mound. The digging part can be a lot of work, so some gardeners don't bother with the trench; they just pile the woody debris directly on the ground and then fill in the gaps. Personally, I used a trench because I think it gives more stability to the mound and because putting the wood directly in the earth accelerates its decomposition, brings more worms, and enhances water retention in the dry months.

Some writers suggest building your hügelkultur beds to run in a line north to south. This is to maximize sun exposure (otherwise, the mound nature of the bed means one side of an east-west bed will get too much shade). Some surround the base of the hügel mound with rocks, logs, or other materials for stability and neatness; others do not. Rocks along the edges may help warm the soil better, but otherwise it's a personal choice.

It's important to use different sizes and ages of wood in the bed if possible. You want some to be old and partially decomposing already, some to be new, some to be thick pieces of wood, and some to be small thin twigs and branches. If you start with all-new and thick wood, your hügel bed may not do as well for the first couple of years, since it needs time to absorb water and start the decomposition process. For maximum benefit, use wood of various sizes and states of decomposition, and start your hügel bed in the fall so that the wood can absorb the winter moisture before planting in the spring.

If you don't have enough woody material of your own, look around. Tree-trimming companies, power companies, and government agencies often have some you can get, or you can collect fallen wood from a friend's back yard, etc. Just make sure it's untreated wood. No plywood or treated lumber should be used.

Another suggestion I've read is to put some of the wood in vertically instead of horizontally, especially if using less water is one of your priorities. Supposedly the wood wicks moisture more efficiently if it's vertical instead of horizontal. I can't speak to this but it seems plausible to me.

Some authors also suggest adding alfalfa pellets when building the bed in order to add more quickly-available nitrogen to balance the carbon dominance of the bed in the first year or two. If you don't have much manure available, this might help. After that, the wood should start breaking down and create its own balance of carbon and nitrogen.

(As an alternative, some people suggest pouring diluted urine or peeing directly onto the logs, but surprisingly, my teen-aged boys declined to do this. I thought they'd love the chance to mark their territory but they were absolutely appalled by the idea.)

Alternate layers of greens and browns in your pile, like in "lasagna gardening" (sheet mulching). Use kitchen waste, garden waste, bark chips, manure, straw, grass clippings, whatever you have on hand. Top it all off with a thick layer of compost and then straw or other mulch to help keep the soil in place and hold in moisture. When you plant, simply move aside some of this top layer and plant the start (or seed) directly into the pile. When you see the seedling is high enough, put the mulch back around it. The first year or two you will have to water seedlings more often, but after that you should have to water much less often.

The more organic material you add (especially nitrogen material) on top of the wood, the sooner your bed will produce results. If you have mostly woody material with minimal soil, it's going to take a couple of years to start breaking down and you won't get much results until then. But if you start with well-watered wood in all stages of decomposition, then add lots of nitrogen-rich material and soil layered with smaller carbon materials (like straw or bark chips), you should be able to plant in the first year and get reasonable returns.

Each year, the organic materials will break down more and more, so you'll need to occasionally add more compost, leaves, manure and bark chips to the hügel beds over the years. Just fill in the holes periodically. The best growing results are typically several years into the process.

But really, although these are suggestions to make hügelkultur more efficient, there's not a lot of strict rules to follow. It's a very forgiving approach, which is why I like it. You can make it what you want and adapt it for your own needs.

My Hügelkultur Beds

Hügelbed, minus top layer of soil.
(This is not my hügelbed, but mine looks
a lot like this, not very mounded yet.)
Image from Wikimedia.

Personally, I started my hügel bed in a small trench and filled it with fallen tree limbs, some firewood, and some old branches and logs from our school grounds. (If I were to do another hügel bed, I think I'd add in even more wood, as I don't think we have enough in there to truly go without extra watering.)

My hügel bed is more of a mini-hügel than a true hügel. The classic hügel is a very high mound with very steep sides. I do not have enough soil and compost right now to make a mound that high, so I'm doing what works at my property...a mini-hügel. It won't last as long, but it should still last several years. That's good enough for a first experiment.

I let the wood get good and soaked in the fall rains, then we began covering it up with layers of kitchen scraps, manure, straw, wood chips, grass clippings, half-cooked compost, the original soil from the trench diggings, garden leftovers, and dead leaves. At this point, it's not very mounded yet, so we need to add more compost, straw and other materials this spring to continue to build it up.

The top of the pile has last year's Halloween pumpkins on it; I'm hoping they seed and start new pumpkins in the pile for this year. Pumpkins are supposed to love hügel beds. My hügel bed is in the former rabbit pen, so it should have lots of good rabbit poo to make the pumpkins happy, and the pumpkins will have lots of room to spread out and grow, which was a problem in my raised beds.

I plan to plant several berry bushes of different types in the hügel bed this year, mostly huckleberry, josta berries, and blueberries. These will form the backbone of the hügel garden, the "perma" in my permaculture. Their root structures will hopefully grow strong over time and give stability to the bed.

Some people also put stuff around the edges of the bed to give it stability, but since mine was built in a trench and isn't very mounded, I'm not too worried about this. I probably will put down some cardboard and bark chips around the edges of it to create a walking path and hopefully deter the grass from growing up the sides, though.

I will plant some nitrogen-fixing plants like peas and beans this year, which hopefully should help provide balance for the carbon in the wood pile underneath. This may be especially important in the first year of growing, since a hügel bed tends to be carbon-dominant at first. I didn't add any alfalfa pellets, but I may look into getting some to add to the beds (since my teens aren't cooperating with territory-marking plan).

In future years I will add more variety of plants, intercropped between the more permanent plants, but for now, I just want to get the basics in the bed and get it up and running. I'll probably have some annual greens there this year as an interim plan.

I like the hügelkultur idea so much that I'm trying to convert some of my raised beds on the other side of the house to a hügelkultur hybrid bed. I have my teenagers digging up the dirt in the raised beds, shunting it to the side, putting old soaked wood and branches in the bottom, and then mixing in kitchen waste, half-finished compost, rock/mineral dust, straw, bark chips, and manure into the rest of the soil. They won't be true hügelkultur beds because they won't have nearly as much wood, but will hopefully give my raised beds a good shot of soil replenishment ─ and maybe lessen watering requirements if I'm lucky.

I wrote previously about my experiment with trench composting, i.e. composting my kitchen waste directly into holes in the raised gardens. Overall, that has been great (far better than messing with a compost pile!), but I did notice that some of my raised beds tended to have too much nitrogen this year. As a result, some of my tomatoes had tons of green growth but not as much fruit in some places.

So the hügelkultur hybridizing of my raised beds will hopefully also help bring more carbon to balance the nitrogen created by the trench composting, which I love and want to continue. Hopefully, a better balance between "browns" and "greens" in the garden will create maximum produce production.

Although it's still early in the process, I'm pretty optimistic about the Hügelkultur beds I'm creating. Since it simply re-creates the process as it happens in nature, I think it has a great chance of succeeding and will greatly add to the productivity of my garden. Better yet, I'm hoping it will lessen the amount of watering, fertilizing, and fussing I need to do, which would be great because I'm a very lackadaisical gardener. I enjoy it when I get around to it, but I have too many other time demands and interests to obsess about it too much.

If you are interested in Hügelkultur for your own gardens, check out some of the links below. Happy gardening!


Resources

• http://www.urbanfarmonline.com/urban-gardening/backyard-gardening/what-is-hugelkultur.aspx
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%BCgelkultur - basic information
• http://www.richsoil.com/hugelkultur/ - lots of pictures illustrating the process 
• http://www.inspirationgreen.com/hugelkultur.html - many pictures showing possible variations
• http://lowcostvegetablegarden.blogspot.com/search/label/Hugelkultur - one man's experiments
• http://www.oregonlive.com/hg/index.ssf/2008/09/_ld_slot_with_gr51vernx02.html 
• http://www.permies.com/forums/f-117/hugelkultur - forum on hügelkultur on permaculture board; lots of articles and pictures about the process
• http://s1274.photobucket.com/user/whiskeychikaho/library/2013%20Hugelkultur?sort=4&page=1 - photos of complete process of building a very steep-sided hügel bed
• http://www.yellowbirchhobbyfarm.com/how-to-hugelkultur-raised-garden-bed-start-to-finish/
• http://www.permies.com/t/8905/permaculture/Hugelkultur-Raised-Beds - raised beds 
• http://www.permies.com/t/6298/permaculture/Combining-Hugelkultur-Raised-Beds-Sheet
• https://permadubdream.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/how-to-build-a-hugelkultur-raised-garden-bed/

Test Those Smoke Detectors Frequently

Last week, my husband almost burned down our house while cooking dinner.

The good news is that he didn't actually burn down the house. It was all smoke, albeit pretty thick smoke; I caught it before it turned into flames.

The bad news is that it probably ruined a beloved pan I got from my mother, and the house still smells a bit like scorched metal. Hopefully that will disappear soon.

The unsettling news is that this was a good check of our smoke detectors ─ and we found that they totally FAILED the test. Ulp! So now we are working on fixing that issue.

My husband is a great guy with many many sterling qualities, but he has a bad habit of putting something on the stove and then leaving the room, forgetting about the item on the stove. I've rescued many scorched things over the years, and have had to throw out more than a few. (I have to be fair ─ I've been known to put something on the stove and forget about it once in a while. You really shouldn't leave the room if you have anything on the stove.)

Well, that's what he did last week. He put a pot of beans on the stove to boil, then took the kids out, forgetting the pan on the stove. I stayed behind to work on the computer but he didn't tell me that he was cooking anything.

Thank goodness I stayed home! After quite a while I smelled the burning pot and went to investigate. Sure enough, there was the pot of beans on the stove, scorching like crazy. Luckily, I got to them before any flames actually began, but it was obviously only a matter of time before that had happened too. If I hadn't been at home, it might well have happened.

The most alarming part was that the house was filled with smoke, yet not a single smoke detector was going off. 

Sometimes there's not enough smoke to really set off a detector, even though it looks pretty smoky. But that's not what happened here. Nope, there was more than enough smoke to warrant a smoke detector going off this time, but not one did. Uh-oh.

We usually check our smoke detectors during daylight savings time changes in fall and spring. But sometimes I ask him to do that and he says he's done it, yet it turns out he didn't really do it. (Does your spouse ever do that?) That's what happened this year.

When we checked, it turns out that there wasn't a single smoke detector on the main floor of the house that was working properly. Doh!

And not only that, you're supposed to check the batteries on smoke detectors every six months (at the time changes) and change the batteries every year ─ PLUS you are supposed to test the smoke detectors every month. We were only testing them every six months (and apparently not always even then). Oops.

Thank goodness we hadn't had a fire. We would have been out of luck.

As a parent, I'm all about preparing for emergencies, as long-time readers of the blog know. Mostly I prepare for scenarios involving weather issues (snowstorms, windstorms), power outages, or earthquakes (we live in a major earthquake zone). Although I joke about the Zombie Apocalypse, I don't really get too concerned about the scenarios that many preppers worry about, honestly. I can't say I'm not concerned, but honestly I don't think most are very likely.

But natural disasters? Those happen regularly. It makes much more sense to focus your prepping on the kinds of scenarios that statistics show every area encounters periodically, rather than focus obsessively on a rare something that might or might not happen someday.

Yet you should always focus on fire safety first and foremost, because FIRE is the life-threatening emergency scenario you are most likely to face in your life. 

The Red Cross notes that, on average, 7 people die every day from a home fire. Fires kill more Americans each year than all other natural disasters combined.

But having a working smoke detector cuts the risk of dying in a home fire in half.

The Red Cross estimates that nearly 900 lives a year could be saved if only every home had working smoke detectors.

So go now, go check your smoke detectors. While you're at it, add some Carbon Monoxide detectors too. 

And don't forget to push the button regularly and test to see if these detectors actually work.


Resources

For more information:

• http://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/all-around/Pages/Fire-Safety.aspx
• http://www.redcross.org/prepare/location/home-family/prevent-home-fires
• http://www.redcross.org/prepare/location/home-family/prevent-home-fires/test-safety-savvy
• http://www.nfpa.org/safety-information/for-consumers/escape-planning/basic-fire-escape-planning
• http://www.ready.gov/home-fires
• http://www.redcross.org/images/MEDIA_CustomProductCatalog/m4240204_FireSmokeAlarmFactSheet.pdf
• http://www.wellroundedmama.blogspot.com/2012/09/national-preparedness-month-fire-safety.html
• http://www.safewise.com/home-security-faq/carbon-monoxide-detector

Emergency Phone Numbers to Keep Handy

If an emergency or health crisis hits, it's vital to have a list of important phone numbers handy to help you through the crisis.

It's even more helpful if you have generated this list of emergency numbers ahead of time, so you don't have to spend precious time scrambling to find the numbers you need.

This is one thing our family has learned from experience. It's especially important if you have children or elderly people who are dependent on you.

Making an Emergency Phone Number List 

If you don't already have an emergency phone list, start making one now. Make it a word processing document so you can update it as needed. Make the document as easy-to-read as you can.

Then program these phone numbers into your cell phone AND print them as a hard copy. 

Many people have their emergency phone numbers only in their cell phones, but then have none of them available if their cell phone runs out of battery power, is stolen, or is damaged. If you also have a hard copy of the numbers, you have a back-up to refer to if needed. Ideally, you should know the most important numbers by memory also (and train your children to know them too), but a hard copy is helpful because memory is sometimes unreliable in an emergency situation when under stress.

At home, hang a copy of these emergency numbers up on the wall by all your major phone receivers (or in a prominent place in the home, like on the kitchen refrigerator and in the master bedroom, if you only have cell service).

Include your name, home address, and phone number at the top of the page; many children (and even adults) forget their own contact information in the adrenaline rush of an emergency and find a nearby reminder to be helpful. If a family member has a known medical condition or significant allergy, you should include that information near the top as well.

Carry a hard copy of these emergency numbers in your purse/wallet, emergency supplies backpack, diaper bag, and car. You never know when you might need them while away from home.

Your family's emergency phone number list should include:

1. Parent names and phone numbers (work, home, and cell)
2. Guardian names and phone numbers (work, home, and cell)
3. Relative names and phone numbers (work, home, and cell)
4. Doctor names and phone numbers (for each member of the family)
5. Dentist names and phone numbers (for each member of the family)
6. Poison Control (1-800-222-1222)
7. Nearby hospital phone numbers
8. Your pharmacy's name and phone number
9. Your veterinarian's name and phone number (and an animal hospital) if you have pets
10. Neighbors (and their phone numbers) who could help out at your home until you could return
11. Trusted local emergency contacts who you could call for help if needed
12. Names and phone numbers for your children's schools (and daycare/babysitters, if applicable)
13. Names and phone numbers for adult helpers at kids' activities (Scouts, sports, church, etc.)
14. Out-of-State emergency contact phone numbers/names
15. Your home, medical, and car insurance agents' names and contact information
16. Your utility company contact numbers (water, electric, gas, etc.)
17. Ambulance, Police, and Fire phone numbers if you are in an area not covered by 911 service

In each car/diaper bag, try to have a current picture of each member of the family. Keep both a hard copy and a digital copy, if possible, because there are certain scenarios in which one or the other form might be most useful. Having both digital and hard copies covers all eventualities.

Hopefully you will never need these emergency contacts, but in life, unexpected things happen. It's good to be prepared for the possibility of a civic emergency, an unexpected medical crisis, an extreme weather event, a sudden school closure, or even just a protracted traffic jam. And having both digital and hard copies of these numbers keeps you ready to respond even when your cell phone isn't working or available. And if cell service is out or overloaded, remember that often a text will go through when nothing else does.

Have children practice making an emergency phone call so they could do it without adult help if needed. Use a disconnected or toy phone and have them play-act dialing 911, telling emergency services about their emergency, and saying their phone number and address. If they are calling from a cell, they should know they may need to describe where they are so they can be located more easily. Emphasize the importance of staying calm and speaking as clearly as possible so the operator can understand them and help get the information needed. They should also know to unlock and open the front door so EMTs can get in, or to have somebody outside waiting for the ambulance.

Role-playing what to do in an emergency can help children respond more effectively, and having an easy-to-read, clear emergency contact list helps children convey information even if they become upset or disoriented. It may help save lives ─ maybe even yours.

Be Ready for Special Needs Family Members

Finally, if you are taking care of an elderly parent or other family member with significant health issues, you know what a hard job this can be.

To make this job easier, consider putting together an updated list of your loved one's medical conditions, health history, current medications, and doctor contact info. Keep this list with you at all times. You may also want to have a file folder at home that you can grab quickly, containing a copy of healthcare power of attorney, living will, and pertinent medical files if this might be needed.

This is the system I developed when I took care of my mother in her final years. Although she lived a long and mostly healthy life, by her mid-80s she did have quite a number of health conditions (as older people often do), including cardiac and neurological issues. After struggling to remember all her complicated medical history every time we went to the doctor or hospital, I developed this system to make things easier. (I kept her medical history on the back of my emergency phone contacts list so I had both critical items on the same piece of paper.)

Having a system like this can improve health and save lives. When I took over my mother's care, she was on a truckload of medications, many of which had interactions with each other. Through careful questioning and care coordination, we were able to reduce her medications considerably and minimize drug interactions. Her condition improved considerably when her medications were more carefully overseen, and my list was helpful in this process.

In addition, by keeping a detailed list of her prescriptions and their proper schedule, I was able to catch a number of medication errors before they happened at the hospital and at her nursing home. This was critical in keeping her quality of life good for as long as possible.

Like many elderly people, she did have a gradual health decline by the end and became a "frequent flyer" at the local hospital. Sometimes we were called into the E.R. in the middle of the night or on very short notice because of a complication. Those doctors depended on me to quickly fill in the blanks of her health history until they could get further details from her physicians, but it was often hard to remember everything on such short notice or in the middle of the night.

Having a pre-existing list of her conditions, history, prior surgeries, medications, and doctors made all of our lives so much easier. All I had to do was pull out the list, have them make a copy of it, and then answer any questions they had. This streamlined her treatment and minimized medication delays. They often thanked me for being so organized and told me they wished everyone kept such a list.

Taking care of a loved one with special medical needs is a hard job. It's also difficult for medical professionals, who must formulate a quick treatment plan for complicated cases. If they are delayed in finding out the patient's medications and medical history, critical treatment may also be delayed.

Having a special patient's updated medical history summary with you at all times can help expedite treatment and prevent many medical errors. It also can considerably lighten the heavy burden of overseeing the care of such family members.

Summary

Having an emergency contacts list with you at all times can help you deal with unexpected situations like weather emergencies, medical crises, or other challenges. Although most people carry emergency numbers in their cell phones, many don't have all the recommended numbers above in their cell phones, and few think to carry a hard copy too in case they don't have access to their cells.

Similarly, if you are one of the many people who care for a family member with special medical needs, it can be very helpful to also have their medical history summary on the back of your emergency contacts hard copy. List the person's conditions, doctors, doctor contact info, and medications/dosages/schedule and keep it nearby at all times. That way, if you are called in to help, you don't have to scramble to try to remember all the details accurately. The medical professionals you deal with will appreciate a concise summary like this.


Resources

Forms to help make an emergency contact list:

• http://foodstorageandsurvival.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Emergency-Phone-Numbers-pictures.pdf - simple and concise, with pictures to help children who may not read well yet
• http://foodstorageandsurvival.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Emergency-Phone-Numbers-no-pictures.pdf - the same form without picture prompts
• http://scoutermom.com/wp-content/uploads/Emergency-Phone-Number-List1.pdf - simple, easy-to-read format of a few emergency numbers (for younger children)
• http://citymomsblog.com/fortworth/2013/05/31/how-to-stock-a-first-aid-kit/ - another child-oriented easy-to-read format that looks like a bulletin board
• http://www.seattlechildrens.org/kids-health/page.aspx?id=34359738830 - suggestions for numbers for your emergency list and where to keep them

Advice on discussing how to make emergency calls with your child:

• http://www.mobilepromotion.biz/kids-emergency-numbers.html
• http://www.getprepared.gc.ca/cnt/plns/mrgncychldrn-eng.aspx