Plus-Size Pregnancy Photo Gallery

Over the many years I have been talking and writing about pregnancy at larger sizes, I have found that many women of size really worry what they are going to look like pregnant...... yet it's very hard to find pictures of fat pregnant women online.

I have searched long and hard for images of women of size during pregnancy, birthing, and breastfeeding to use on my blog and website.

I have found almost no pregnancy and birthing images; I have found a few for breastfeeding (like the one I use for my blog, above right), but even those are hard to find. And often those images are not especially "well-rounded."

Now, of course fat women have been having babies for ages, but apparently there is a cultural taboo against showing it today. If you were looking for images online now of fat pregnant women, you'd be hard-put to find many.

And forget about finding any pictures of fat pregnant women in birth books. That might mean condoning obesity in pregnancy (gasp!).

So if you are a fat woman and want to know what pregnancy or birth as a woman of size looks like, you'd be hard-pressed to find any images, any inspiration whatsoever, anywhere.

This is ironic of course, because fat women were used as fertility symbols in many ancient cultures, like the picture below (from here) of "Goddess Giving Birth," or the famous Venus of Willendorf image.



Of course, many of you fat chicks out there have had babies in the digital age, yet few fat women post their pregnancy pictures online either. Because of body insecurity, fear of harassing emails, and the cultural taboo about being fat and pregnant nowadays, many women of size do not publicize their pictures of themselves pregnant.

I'd like to change that. I'd like to collect a gallery of photos of plus-sized women who are pregnant, birthing, breastfeeding, and parenting.

Right now, I'm especially interested in shots of fat women pregnant and giving birth, because those are the images I get the most requests for and the ones that are hardest to find online, but I'd be happy to have any sorts of pictures.

Let's show the world that fat women DO get pregnant, DO give birth, DO breastfeed, and DO have children and parent just like everyone else.

If you have a photo you are willing to share on my blog, please send me an email at kmom at plus-size-pregnancy dot org (no attachments, please).

You will need to give me permission to use the photo, and you might want to include a few details like how many weeks you were, number of prior pregnancies, a general idea of your pre-pregnancy size (dress size works well), things like that.

Don't send me 150 photos; pick a couple of the best and send those.

I especially want birthing photos because images of fat women giving birth are the hardest to find, and it's important to document that Yes, fat women can and do give birth vaginally too.

That's not to say that I don't want cesarean photos either, because these are important to document too. But if you have photos of yourself giving birth vaginally, I'd especially love to have those.

I am also always looking to add photos of fat women of color, because women of color are often already under-represented in pregnancy and birthing photos.

I have some photos already that I have used in slide shows about plus-sized pregnancy for NAAFA conferences, birth conferences, and midwifery conferences. However, I am still working on getting permission to use these on my blog.

So I don't have all that many pictures yet for my blog, but here's a few, and some links to others.

I have a series of pictures of a woman of size pregnant with twins, showing how her body changed all through her pregnancy. I've posted this video before, but in the interest of having several of these pregnancy photos all in one place, here's the link again.

Here are a series of pregnancy pictures from a dear friend of mine. You know her; I posted about her recent VBAC, and the image at the top of this blog entry is from her website. You can go to her blog to see her recent pregnancy documented in photos:

25 weeks
28 weeks
33 weeks
38 weeks
40 weeks
Labor and Birth

There's also a slide show of pictures of her from a previous pregnancy there, at the bottom of this link.

What about you? Do you have some photos to share?

On Bellies and Looking Pregnant

One very common fear I've heard women mention many times over the years is:

How will I look in my pregnancy? Will I just look like a giant blob or will people be able to actually TELL I'm pregnant? Will I have the cute pregnant basketball belly too?

And the answer is......it TOTALLY varies. Some fat folk look TOTALLY pregnant and some never do. Some don't look pregnant until near the end.....and some look pregnant right away.

A lot depends on your particular shape and size. If you are a "pear" you will probably show your pregnancy more quickly and obviously than an "apple."

If you have a rack o' doom, your pregnancy might not be as obvious because the boobs tend to overshadow the belly.

Women who are much larger tend to show less obviously than those who are closer to "average size"-----but I've seen very large women who were obviously pregnant and very petite and small women who didn't show their pregnancy much at all. You never know.

A lot depends on the position the baby is in, too.

If your baby is posterior (head-down, but the baby's face towards your tummy), then the baby's rump doesn't stick out nearly as much and you tend to look less pregnant, even at term.

But if your baby is anterior (head-down, baby's face towards your back, which is a WAY easier way to give birth, believe me!), then you tend to get the "basketball belly" look, because baby's rump is hanging out more forward.

[And actually, knowing the position of your baby is really important because fetal position does influence how easy or hard your labor is, and whether your baby fits easily through your pelvis. Poor fetal position is a cause of many cesareans......but more on that in a future post. Just know that it's good to be aware of your belly shape because it can tell you important things about your baby's position before labor.]

Really, whether or not women of size "look" pregnant and at what point depends on so many factors. And even those are generalities; not everybody follows the "rules." You just have to wait and see how you carry.....but in general most fat women actually DO look pregnant at some point. It's just not always right away.

One strategy to avoid the "Is she pregnant or is she just getting fatter" looks is to get some cute, obviously maternity shirts and start wearing them right away.

Empire waist or babydoll-style tops and dresses make you look more "pregnant" than tent-y shirts, which tend to just make you look elephant-ish.

Later in pregnancy, slinky silky knits tend to cling to the baby belly and accentuate it; these were some of my personal favorite pregnancy outfits.

If you are one of those folks who can't bear the cutesy nature of a lot of maternity clothes (and who could blame you?) yet who still dreads the "Hmmmm, is she pregnant or not" looks, don't worry about maternity clothes.....but put your hand on your belly and mention the pregnancy prominently any chance you get. That will get the message across too.

Certainly you don't need to conform to anyone else's perceptions about what you "should" look like or dress like when pregnant, so don't feel the need to do this kind of thing if you don't care what people think....but I know from my email that many women of size do worry about this kind of thing, a lot.

If it makes you feel better, go ahead and wear a maternity-ish shirt early or subtly remind people through words and gestures that yes, you are pregnant as well as fat.

And enjoy the beauty of your baby belly, whatever it looks like. Baby bellies are amazing and blessed miracles, whatever their shape and size.

*Photo from my friend Lexi at www.birthislife.blogspot.com.

Fears Follow-Up and "Silly" Fears

Thank you all for your input about your fears and worries about "obesity" and pregnancy as women of size. I think it's so important to talk about these things, and so helpful to get those fears out in the light of day.

You gave me a lot of ideas for blog entries for the future. Now I just have to find time to write 'em!!

Please note......for every person who shared their worries and concerns, you undoubtedly spoke for several others who were thinking the same thing but didn't write it.

One thing, though----don't ever worry about your particular concern being "too silly" or "trivial" to talk about here. Believe me, I've had all those "silly" and "trivial" worries too, and I've certainly heard many of them via email and support lists too. There isn't much I haven't heard of or thought of myself in my own years of childbearing, parenting, and learning about childbirth in childbirth ed and midwifery classes!

For example, while we all worry about complications in pregnancy that we might be at more risk for or how we will raise a self-confident child in a fat-phobic world, a lot of women also worry about the practical, everyday things.

Things like......how will I ever fit behind a steering wheel in my car at 9 months pregnant? Will my car's seat belt go over my belly? What will I do for clothes? How did I get people to understand that I'm pregnant and not just getting fatter?

Things like.....how will I handle activities of daily life with a giant baby belly in the way? How will I deal with hygiene issues? Will I even be able to feel my baby move because of all the fat in the way? And even.....will my fat crush my baby? Or......how will I ever handle the embarrassment of everyone in the universe seeing my fat ass while I'm giving birth?

I've heard all of those, and more too. So don't ever worry about sharing your "silly" or "ridiculous" or "embarassing" or "trivial" fears too. Believe me, if you've thought it, someone else has too.

Soooo......what are YOUR "silliest" fears about being fat and pregnant? If you are already a mom, what were your silliest fears and did they turn out to be true? If so, how did you cope with them? What would you say to women worried about these things? How would you reassure them or what hints would you give to them about coping?

No fears are "too silly" or "trivial" or "embarassing" for us here!

*Sorry for the short post; we are back riding the Vomit Comet at our house. 2 for 4 so far. Whee-haaaaa! Ah, those fabulous parenting moments we all know and love......!!

Sharing Your Fears and Questions

I'd like to start a new series on addressing people's fears and questions about pregnancy and parenting at larger sizes.

However, first let me get some feedback from you. And please, I'd like to hear from as many of you as possible, regardless of your kid status. I want to hear from you whether you've already had kids or not, and whether or not you even plan to have kids.

When you think about the possibility of having a baby (or parenting) at your size, what are your biggest worries, your deepest concerns? What would you most like to see me address here on this blog? What information do you most need?

Let Me Hear From You, Regardless of Child Status

Obviously, readers on my site tend to fall into several categories.

Some haven't had kids yet and are reading here to get more information about "obesity" and pregnancy and parenting. These folks are the primary ones this series would be aimed at, but I don't want to limit it to just them.

I also want to hear from those of you who have had kids, to share what you were most afraid of beforehand, what you think is most important to pass on to those who haven't had kids yet, and to share your continuing struggles with parenting and childbearing and all that entails.

And I want to hear from those who are undecided about having kids, and even those who are sure they are not going to have kids. Your perceptions about pregnancy and parenting are valuable too. Even if you never put this information into practice for yourself, it's still important to hear your own assumptions and concerns so I know what to write about, and to make sure you get accurate information too, even if you personally don't use it.

I also have readers of average size who are involved in the birth world in some way, as birth workers (midwives, doctors, doulas, lactation consultants, childbirth educators, birth advocates) or as parents. Part of the mission of this site is to address the concerns of these folks too.

So here's what I'd ask each one of these groups.

If you haven't had a baby yet:

What worries you most about the thought of pregnancy, birth, parenting? Medical complications, social complications, raising a child in a fat-phobic world, what?

Where does the concern come from....media hyperbole about the risks of "obesity," scare tactics from your doctors, internalized fat hatred, worry and guilt-mongering from your family, knowledge of someone who did have complications.....what are the sources for your concerns? What has you the most concerned and why do you think that is?

What could we do here to most alleviate your fears? What do you most want me to address on this blog?

If you already have children:

What were your biggest concerns, looking back? Were your concerns about pregnancy, about birth, about parenting? Why did you have those concerns?

How realistic were those concerns in the end? What concerns turned out to be no big deal? What blindsided you that you really didn't have on your radar? What are your continuing concerns as you parent your children now?

What would you most like to tell the women thinking about having kids but who haven't yet? What's your top parenting tip having to do with size/weight issues? What do you most want to see me cover on this blog?

If you aren't sure you're going to have children (or even if you're totally sure you're not):

What do you know (and what don't you know) about pregnancy and birth? What would be your fears if you were to go through this as a person of size? What would you most want to know to tell a beloved fat friend or relative about pregnancy, birth, adoption, or parenting?

Remember, you never know for sure whether you're going to have to deal with these issues. About half of all pregnancies are not planned. Surprises happen. Or there's a death in the family and you suddenly need to take in your sister's kids. Or you fall in love with someone who has kids and suddenly you are a step-parent. Or you have the opportunity to do some size-positive mentoring of someone else's kids....nieces, cousins, god-children, friends of the family, whatever.

Life happens, and plans change sometimes. It's important to have this information even if you don't really know if you personally are going to need it.

And even if you are positive you won't/can't/aren't going to have children, discussing the fears and concerns that you would have had is helpful to me to know what sort of things people worry about the most, the kinds of things that most need to be addressed on this blog.

Also, discrimination against women of size in pregnancy, birth, and parenting is an important issue for everyone, regardless of their own plans. Even if this discrimination doesn't personally affect you, you should still care about it, be informed about it, and work against it.

If you are a person of average size and involved in the birth world:

What concerns would you have for a woman of size in pregnancy, birth, or breastfeeding? What worries or concerns do you have for them in parenting? What would you most like your co-workers in the birth field to understand about women of size?

What would you most like to see addressed about "obesity" issues in this blog to benefit other birth workers and advocates?

What I Am Looking For

I particularly want to hear about fears and worries that are particular to people of size.

Everyone out there worries about the usual concerns.....will the baby be healthy, will I be a good parent, how do I combine a career and children, how will this impact my marriage, how will I afford children, etc. etc. Those are definitely important worries too, but certainly not unique to people of size.

What I particularly want to hear about are the specific concerns you might have about pregnancy and parenting as a person of size.

These might include fertility concerns, worries about birth defects, worries about complications in pregnancy, worries about birthing in a larger body, worries about size bias from healthcare workers, worries about parenting children in a fat-phobic world, worries about keeping up with your kids, worries about your kids being embarrassed by your size, worries about your kids being fat too, worries about finding the right balance between promoting health for your kids but not pushing eating-disordered behavior, worries about dealing with "obesity" bias from other parents, teachers or doctors......things like that.

Of all those things (and any others that occur to you), what is most on your mind as you consider the possibility of having kids, whether or not you actually end up having them? What kind of information on addressing fears and questions about pregnancy, adoption, and parenting would you most like to see on this blog?

Hearing from you will help guide me in knowing what is most on people's minds, on what I most need to address, and perhaps in what order I should consider writing this stuff.

Caveats

Before I start this series, I do have to add a few caveats.

Remember, I'm a busy mom of four who wears a number of other hats besides parenting. I have a lot of demands on my time and can't always devote the hours I'd like to my writing. Also, I prefer to cite research whenever possible to back up what I'm saying, and that kind of writing takes quite a bit of prep time.

Therefore, this will be a periodic series, not a sequential one. I'll do a couple of posts on some common concerns, then take a break and talk about other things. Then in a while, I'll do another one on common worries, then take another break, etc. I'll get to all your needs, sooner or later, as best I can.....but sometimes it may be later than sooner. Don't expect all the answers tomorrow, okay?

Also, obviously I can't promise to have all the answers either. I'm not a medical professional or a parenting guru, and I'm still learning and formulating my own answers. Frankly, I still struggle with some of these worries and questions too, especially the parenting ones.

But I think it's important to open up a dialogue and talk about these issues more, and not just with people who already have parenting down to a science. Maybe we can figure out some of this stuff together.

One thing I've learned in my own journeys is that the first step to working through fears and worries is to name them, talk about them, and share them with others.

Doing so takes away some of the power of the fear or worry, some of the stigma around it, makes it more approachable. Name it and why it worries you and you can develop a proactive plan to deal with it.

Examine your pre-conceptions and assumptions and see what they have to teach you and where you can still do some learning.

Then reach out for new information, review where you were right and wrong, and develop a proactive plan to deal with your concerns. Continue to question everything as you move along your journey. Stay flexible so you can meet each new challenge with grace and creativity.

Share your learning and your process with others, to help them on their journeys too.

Remember, sometimes there may not be easy answers to every question. Sometimes we just have to figure things out as we go.

But let's start a dialogue as a first step in that process.

I look forward to hearing from you.

*Please feel free to comment anonymously if you prefer, or even privately by email. Sometimes it's easier to name your darkest or "silliest" fears if you do it anonymously. All your fears deserve hearing; feel free to do it anonymously if that helps.