Bra Recycling: Passing on the Wealth

Motherwear Great Support Nursing Bra
(Sizes to 50K)

I was so thrilled to find this organization that recycles bras and passes them along to other women around the world in need of a good bra.  The URL is www.brarecycling.com 

If you're like me, you have bras in your drawers that you don't wear very often.  You may have tried a new style or design and found you didn't like it very well, or the fabric/color didn't suit you, or you've changed sizes.  It always sits very poorly with me to waste perfectly good clothes, but I didn't figure that Goodwill or other such organizations would accept such an intimate item as lingerie, so I have quite a few just languishing in my drawers.  But now there's a place to donate!

This is especially important for those of us who are a special size.  It's so hard to find good plus-size clothes second-hand; imagine how hard it is to find good bras in our size when money is an issue!  They are so expensive to buy new.

So if you wear a larger band size (more than about 42 or so), a larger cup (D or more), have a mastectomy or post-surgery bra, or have some nursing bras you no longer need, I hope you will especially consider donating to this group.

Below is more information about the company and where to send the bras.  Some communities also have drop-off sites where you can drop off the bra instead of having to pay shipping costs; info about that can be found here. And here is a link to the donation paperwork you need to fill out.

[I should probably add the disclaimer that I know nothing about this group or its validity as a charity.  Caveat Emptor. However, they do have a page that discusses which charities they donate the bras to, if you want to do more research.]



From the company's "about" page:

What is The Bra Recyclers all about?

• We are a textile recycling company focused on doing our part to recycle and reuse bras (textiles) that unnecessarily go to landfills
• We buy and sell recycled bras, which are re-distributed through exporters and organizations to developing countries around the world
• We have created and support a network of Bra Recycling Ambassadors who assist us in providing deserving women with used or unused bras as they transition back to self-sufficiency

What Type of Bras Are Needed?

• Bras in good condition; Clasps and straps need to be functional
• All sizes and styles of bras
• Special needs bras, post breast surgery and maternity bras

Recovering and Recycling Your Bras

We make it easy for you to recover and recycle all of the old or new bras sitting in your lingerie drawers waiting to be worn by a deserving woman in your community. Just follow 4 easy steps:

• Wash It. All bras should be washed.
• Tag It. Fill out Bra Recycling Form.
• Box It. Place your bras in a box or large envelope.
• Drop It Off or Mail It to:

The Bra Recyclers
3317 S. Higley Rd, Ste 114-441
Gilbert, AZ 85297

Know Your Demographics, Stores!

While running errands this week, I decided to do a little clothes shopping and get some grown-up clothes for a trip I'll be making soon.  But I was so frustrated by the experience that I didn't buy as much as I would liked to have bought. 

So I need to air a pet peeve about plus-sized clothing stores.  I've been ticked off about this for many years now; I know a lot of others out there have had the same frustration.  Time to air it.

Now, I'm not one to blog about fatshion topics much; anyone who knows me knows I'm incredibly casual most of the time. I'm all about feeling comfortable and could care less if I look fashionable.  I like to look decent but it has to be comfortable above all else.  I'm about one step above slacker most days. I do have a some dress-up items and business clothes when more formality is needed, but most of the time I'm just looking for casual, comfortable, decent everyday clothes.  Shouldn't be that hard to find.....but it is.

I don't shop much because I don't have time to get out to the stores very often.  Also, I'm not an easy body type to fit; a lot of what's out there doesn't suit me.  So when I find something, I tend to buy it in 15 colors, just in case, and I tend to buy a lot of things at once so I don't have to come back often. I'm not a frequent or prolific shopper compared to some, but the stores can make some pretty decent money off of me if they have something nice-looking in my size.  And that's the problem, right there.  In my size.

So I'm at Catherine's this week, looking around. It's not my favorite store (seriously, do we need sequins on everything?  I like a little bling now and again, but this is overkill!), but it does have my size (26/28), which a lot of regular plus-sized stores don't have (they usually stop at 24).  Plus-sized choices in my size are fairly limited in my area without some serious driving, so when I do shop, it's often there.

What pissed me off was that the chain continues to ignore the demographics of its customers, overstocking the smaller sizes and seriously stinting on the larger sizes. 

They continue to order 50 zillion items in size 0x-1x (sizes 16-18 or so), and far fewer items in a size 3x or 4x (26/28 or 30/32).  Yes, they do have 3x, 4x, and even 5x items, but as a percentage of their offerings and in relation to their customer base, the bigger sizes are under-represented compared to the smaller stuff.

The customer base I consistently see in the store (me included) is usually 3x-4x.  I rarely see a 1x-sized woman in the store.  Sometimes, but not nearly as often as 3x-4x women.

So thus when you get to the sales racks, there is an abundance of 1x stuff that's NOT selling, and hardly any 3x-4x stuff, which is what most of the customers are looking for.  And even in its first-run items, the 3x and 4x sell out really quickly and it's hard to find items in those sizes unless you are there the week an item arrives.

I mean, really, retailers ─ get a #$%*ing clue!  People who wear a size 16 are usually able to shop in regular, "straight"-size stores.  Do you think most of them are going to Catherine's to shop?  I mean, I'm sure some do, but most do not.

Catherine's is a specialty store, and it's going to serve primarily the plus-sized woman who cannot shop at regular stores but doesn't want to take a chance ordering something blindly off the internet that may or may not fit.

These women are going to primarily be 2x-4x, with an especially high concentration of 4x (since 2x-3x is the size at which many plus-sized departments usually stop).  I mean, if I can buy a 2x shirt at K-Mart or Wal-Mart, why am I going to drive further and pay more to buy a similar shirt at Catherine's? 

The women who spend a lot of money at Catherine's are going to primarily be women on the larger side of the plus sizes. You would think that Catherine's would know and honor this, but apparently it doesn't.

To their credit, Catherine's does carry 5x, which is far more than many plus-size stores carry.  So kudos to them on that at least.

But come on, Catherine's, know your clientele!  Most of your customers are going to be women in the 3x-4x sizing, so you should be sending far more of those sizes to the stores, and fewer of the 0x and 1x items. Instead, it's the other way around, and the end result is too many small sizes extra afterwards and unsatisfied customers among the larger sizes.  Another example of size snobbery even among stores that cater to plus-sized women.

And it leaves me pissed off like crazy when I go there, see something really cute that I'd be interested in buying.....only to find out that they only have it in 0x and 1x anymore.  They really lose my goodwill when this happens.  Makes me not want to shop at their store very often, honestly. 

It's not just Catherine's, of course.  Lane Bryant has similar issues, as does Avenue and several others.  However, the demographics of those stores skew younger, so they are going to have a somewhat more substantial base in the 1x-3x size.  But it's not like younger women never wear size 4x!  They want cute clothes in their size, not granny stuff.  And even as middle-aged as I am, I'd shop those places more too if they'd just stock more 4x items (that are true to size).  They're neglecting part of their clientele too.

I have complained about this to store managers for years.  The managers always say, yes we KNOW, we've been telling corporate headquarters that for ages, but they don't listen.

COME ON RETAILERS.  KNOW YOUR DEMOGRAPHICS! 

Don't base your purchases on the demographics of how many fat women wear what size in the U.S., base it on the distribution of sizes of your clientele, the people who actually come and shop there.

You are cheating yourself out of a lot of sales when you skew too much to the smaller sizes. And you are pissing off the larger-sized clientele, often the ones with more money to spend. 

Stop the size snobbery, and stop alienating the very customers who are the heart of your business model. 

Score!! Winter Stuff in Extended Sizes

I've written before about the difficulties I've encountered finding good rain gear and winter coats in extended plus sizes.  It's a problem that frustrates me no end.  I'm a chronically cold person (even when my hypothyroidism is well-controlled), and I get cold far more easily than anyone around me.  I need good warm clothing, sweaters, raincoats, and winter coats. 

We discussed before that my best sources so far were Junonia (women's sizes to 4x, sometimes 5-6x), and sometimes Land's End (women's sizes to 3x, men's sizes to some 4-5x) and L.L. Bean (some women's sizes to 3x, men's sizes mostly to 2x but a few 3x).  I can sometimes get outstanding stuff in these companies, but not always. 

The quality at Junonia really varies; some stuff is great, and some stuff isn't, either in fit or in quality. I got a ski jacket from them that was a huge disappointment, and a fleece jacket that was only so-so. And while they have some of the QuickWik-type materials and some ski wear, the stuff I've gotten from them in these have not been of the quality my kids get at REI or other major sports labels.  There's really a noticeable difference in terms of high-tech gear that helps wick away moisture or helps hold in the heat etc.  And as I see my kids with the really good stuff, I think ─ why can't I have that stuff too?

Land's End and L.L. Bean usually have some good stuff, and I got a couple of really great moderate-cold coats from them last year.  I also got a great wool sweater (not scratchy at all) from L.L. Bean that I use for keeping warm inside.  But the problem is that LL Bean stuff typically only goes up to a 2x in men's. Both LL Bean and Land's End only go to 3x in women's (not quite big enough in the boobs for me).  So, not always the best match for me.

Well, now I have a new source: Columbia Sportswear.  I knew about this company before, but last time I checked they didn't have women's coats anywhere close to my size.  My husband bought me a men's extended size coat from them 12 years ago, but it wasn't that great.  So I never really considered shopping for myself there.

But recently, a friend of mine gave me a "friends and family" pass (major discounts!) to Columbia's online store. My oldest son needed a bigger ski jacket, so I was hoping to use the pass to get a really good ski jacket for him at a halfway decent price.

When I went online to shop, though, I discovered that Columbia now carries extended sizes.  Score!!!

As is so typical these days, they only carry women's sizes to a 3x, which is almost but not quite enough for me....BUT they had men's sizes to 4x and 5x at times.  Whoohooo!

While it ticks me off majorly that more accommodation is made for men of size than for women of size (i.e., men are "allowed" to be fatter than women, and "allowed" to have more functional and quality clothing in extended sizes), I had to take a deep breath and move on.  At least they had some stuff in 4x, and I hoped the men's 4x might fit me. (Men's plus sizes are shaped differently ─ bigger in the belly and smaller in the chest and hips than I am ─ so it wasn't a sure thing). 

Because I had this one-time pass for a major discount, I took a risk and ordered a whole BUNCH of things from Columbia.com in 4x, crossing my fingers that they would work.  

Well, I got my package this week and IT WORKED!!!  I am so stoked.  I got a moisture-wicking shirt for workouts, a couple of full-zip or half-zip light jackets/fleeces, a high-tech wicking half-zip for layering warmth, a rain jacket (with special lining for more warmth), a soft-shell jacket (fleece on the inside, waterproof on the outside), and a full-on ski parka. 

I tried them all on and they all worked.  And the quality was way better than the stuff I ordered via Junonia, Land's End, or L.L. Bean.  Whoohooo!

I almost bought a pair of hiking pants too, but I decided not to risk buying pants at this point.  Men and women's shapes are too different and I've not had good luck buying men's pants in the past, so I didn't want to waste money on something I couldn't try on in person. 

But to get such ultra-warm, high-quality coats in my size?  Freakin' awesome when you consider I've been looking for years for quality stuff like this. 

Oh, and my son?  Got an AMAZING ski jacket ($260 retail!) for $90, plus some fitness shirts, hiking shirts, rain pants, and ski pants.  All very high-quality materials and workmanship, and they will keep him well-equipped for skiing, snow caving, wilderness survival, fencing, and Boy Scout hikes. 

I'm way poor now but it was worth it!  All in all, an excellent find!  http://www.columbia.com/.  They don't go to 4-5x in everything, alas, and they are quite pricey without the discount pass ─ but they had quite a few choices in coats, at far better quality than most other sources. Worth the price if you are needing a really good winter coat.

Cold and Wet Weather Gear

This past weekend, I took my kids to their soccer games as I usually do on weekends in the fall. It was a total Mud Bowl. Yuck.

Personally, I hate soccer in November because the weather is invariably nasty---rain, wind, cold, or worse.

Saturday was all of those....plus the worse. As in thunder and lightning. The ref wouldn't call the game at first because they only heard thunder. (Well, duh, if there's thunder then there must be lightning somewhere nearby as well! Potential safety issue, anyone?)

Finally, in the second half of the game, in the TORRENTIAL rain, winds blowing like crazy, and wind chill near freezing, there's a clear flash of lightning and a crash of thunder soon after. So finally, the game was called.

One more week of soccer to go. Hopefully it won't snow at next week's game, but I'm not holding my breath.

Ugh. I've got to get some new cold-weather clothing.

Why I Need Cold-Weather Gear More Than Most

First, you should know that I'm a VERY cold person....as in, I hate the cold and I get cold very very easily.

I think it's part of my hypothyroidism---I have a very narrow range of temperature in which I am comfortable, and a real tendency towards being cold, even when others around me are okay. Even though (with medication), my TSH and other readings are in the "ideal" range now, I still feel cold with very little provocation. And when I'm cold, I'm miserable.

My family laughs about how cold I am. I went RV camping a couple of years ago and sleeping beside me, my toddler was wearing a diaper and nothing else and was on top of the comforter....and she was fine. My DH had on only shorts and a t-shirt and he was fine. I was wearing full WARM clothes with mittens and was under a down comforter....and I was still freezing.

I just have very poor temperature regulation, for whatever reason, even with supposedly "well-treated" hypothyroidism. So when I say I need good gear for cold weather, I mean it.

Items That Work For Me

This summer I was talking with my nephews (who are avid hikers) and they recommended "Smartwool." So I got some Smartwool socks and gloves when I was at REI, buying fitness clothes for my kids.

Saturday was my first real chance to use them. They were awesome. I had thought, wool....ugh. But really, they were very comfortable and not itchy at all. And they did keep me noticeably warmer than cotton or fleece. It wasn't a cure-all---my hands still got cold by the end---but it was definitely better than what I already had, while being less bulky to boot.

Unfortunately, some of the best cold gear doesn't come in plus sizes. When I saw all the nice stuff available at REI for my kids, I really was struck by the difference in what's available in "regular" sizes and what's available in "plus" sizes. Additionally, I was frustrated at just how inferior a lot of the stuff available in plus sizes is, especially the higher range of plus sizes. Frustrating!!!

For example, Junonia is where I usually go when I want something for sports, fitness, or outdoors in my size. I typically wear about a 4x or 26/28 (anything from 3x to 5x, depending on the company, but I like things loose and I've got a 'rack,' so I prefer to be generous in sizing) and Junonia is one of the few places where I can get that kind of gear in my size, not just the "tweenie" sizes.

Junonia carries a lot of great stuff in many ways, so I do generally recommend them as a company----but I've also been disappointed by some of their stuff before. Many things have been fine, but I've ordered more than a few things from them that really disappointed me...which is bad cause they are not cheap. And just when I find a type of swimsuit or fitness pant that I do really like from them, they discontinue it. Augh!

However, I had a revelation this fall. I realized that a number of companies carry good outdoor gear in MEN'S plus sizes, often up to 2-4x (generously sized), and because MEN'S plus-sizes run larger than women's plus sizes, it's one way to find gear in extended sizes for me.

This is a decent way to fill in the gap, I've discovered. Women's plus sizes often end at XL or 2x if you're lucky, but a Woman's 2x is a lot smaller than a Man's 2x. Some Men's 2x sizes fit me (depends on the company), whereas a Woman's 2x usually won't.

And oftentimes, the Men's plus-size range extends into larger sizes than the Women's plus sizes. So Men's plus sizes can be a great way to get decent cold-gear stuff in extended sizes for women who need a little extra room.

For example, L.L. Bean carries a lot of great outdoorsy stuff....but most of their women's stuff ends at an XL, or about a size 18. However, their men's stuff mostly ends at a 2x, some of which fits me (a Woman's 4x).

At Lands' End, women's sizes go to 3x in some limited items, with a couple of new 4x and 5x items (but their size chart only goes to 3x, so it's hard to tell what their "4x" and "5x" really means in real life). BUT men's sizes at Lands End go to 4x, and it's likely that their 4x is much bigger than the equivalent in women's sizes.

But isn't it maddening that men's plus sizes are readily available in a much wider range of sizes than women's plus sizes are? And particularly in practical stuff like cold and fitness gear?

Another sign of the double standard out there....it's okay for MEN to be plus-sized and even very plus-sized....but not for women. Women are only allowed to be a little bit plus-sized, if at all.

And of course, why bother to supply cold or fitness gear for very plus-sized women because we all know they can't be doing any activities that require such gear, right? But on the other hand, we all know that very plus-sized men do need this sort of thing....just not the chicks. Ugh!!! (Fashion Pet Peeve #548 and #549, I guess.)

So anyhow, I took a chance and ordered a wool long underwear/sweater from L.L. Bean in a Men's 2x. I didn't think it would fit me but it did. A little snugger across the behind than I prefer but definitely workable. It's been GREAT.

I also ordered a really nice Men's hoodie coat, lined with a special fleece, from L.L. Bean. I was looking for something for that "in between" weather----don't quite need a full-on winter coat, but a light jacket just won't cut it. But this works great for in between weather and even into light winter weather. I'm loving this jacket more and more each day, and just discovered that they have an even more insulated version of the same coat, so I'm thinking about getting that too.

Footgear - A Special Problem

Footgear is a particular problem for me because I have abnormally large legs, probably from lipedema. Most people have never heard of lipedema, and most fat people don't have it....but lucky me, I probably do. Here's a definition from biglegwoman's blog:

Lipedema -- sometimes spelled lipodema or lipoedema -- is a hereditary condition which causes patients (almost always women) to store excess fat in the lower body, particularly the lower legs.

This is not the same as lymphedema, mind. In lipedema, the size is from excess fat being deposited there, not a malfunction of the lymph glands as in lymphedema (although lymphedema can sometimes be a side effect of lipedema). Also, lipedema is bilateral (on both legs) and lymphedema usually is not.

Anyhow, that's another post. The relevance here is that it's hard for me, with my very large-sized calves (and cankles, I haz dem too), to get boots for wet or cold weather. Impossible, in fact---at least so far. Even the places I've found online that cater to boots for wide calves don't go up to my size. Not even the ones that specialize in super-wide calves. I could have a pair custom-made, but that's prohibitively expensive.

So I have yet to find boots to wear to keep my chronically-cold tootsies warm and dry.

Instead, I try to buy warm footwear that ends at the ankle.

In the past I've used Duck Shoes, but find they tend to cut off the circulation in my feet. Wore them to one soccer game this fall and didn't feel my pinky toe on one foot for most of the rest of the day. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

So I went to Lands End recently to see if there were any men's or women's shoes for winter weather and found these. I wore them with my Smartwool socks this weekend and my feet did indeed stay warm and dry, despite the Mud Bowl conditions. Huzzah!!

If I were walking in deep puddles or got really splashed, I'd still get wet and cold, but hey, I'd get the same with the duck shoes and at least I don't lose feeling in my feet in these shoes.

What I Still Need

One thing I forgot to wear this weekend was long underwear on my legs so they'd stay warmer. I do have a pair from L.L. Bean---so next time, I'm definitely going to remember to try them out.

But my pants to totally wet last weekend because the wind was blowing the rain so hard. So I've decided that I have to get some rain pants, preferably some that keep you warm too.

I'm contemplating buying these or these from Junonia, so if you have feedback on either, I'd like to hear it.

I'd also like to know if there are any other choices out there. Men's clothing isn't really an option here because I'm really short, more curvy in the hip than most men, and I'm not handy enough with a needle to hem or size them properly.

So does anyone have any fabulous options or recommendations for wind/rain/cold weather gear for the higher range of plus sizes? Especially rain pants?

Are there any other decent companies out there that specialize in sports, fitness, or cold-weather gear for women and have extended plus sizes? (I'm not talking about Lane Bryant or Roaman's or Just My Size, I mean companies that specialize in this type of item.) I'd love to have some more options to choose from.

Let me know what you've used that works for you, and any other resources you find. Share it in the comments section so others will know about it too.

And send me some warm, dry thoughts for Saturday! (And tonight too, I have an outdoor activity going tonight as well.)

Fashion Peeve #547

Not a lot to say today on birth; have plenty of big things in the works regarding birth but nothing ready to post yet.

However, wanted to air a pet plus-size fashion peeve and I figured, who else would understand like the fatosphere?

Here's plus-sized fashion pet peeve #547:

Why oh WHY do they cut plus-sized necklines so wide?

Granted, I hate crew neck shirts because they feel too snug around my neck, and we probably do generally want a little more room in the neck than thinner folk.

But do they always have to cut plus-sized shirt necklines so wide? Isn't there a happy medium somewhere?

Ugh, I can't tell you how many great shirts I've gotten rid of because the neckline is cut just a tad too wide and my bra strap ends up showing during normal activities.

Obviously if it shows my bra straps a lot when I try it on, I don't buy it. But what looks fine in the store often slips and slides around at home during normal wearing and I find my bra straps are often exposed.

I'm not a prude. I don't get shocked or offended if someone's bra straps show for a bit. And some shirts are designed to show bra straps...that's okay too.

But I do think it's tacky when a shirt that's not designed to show bra straps does. And especially in those of us with a rack who have to wear industrial-strength bras that don't have pretty, delicate little bra straps to show. It just looks tacky, nothing more.

Also, I work with kids a lot and it's just distracting and inappropriate to have your bra straps hanging out all the time. So I want a shirt where I don't have to constantly monitor what my neckline is doing or whether my straps are showing. Is that so much to ask?

I was trying to find a shirt this weekend for various activities, and I was just struck by how many shirts I have in my closet that I don't wear except around the house because of the neckline/bra strap issue.

AUGH!! So much wasted money, so much wasted cute clothing....all because someone doesn't take the time to understand REAL plus-sized women's proper fit.

And don't even get me started on how all the shirts are either too short or too long!

Plus-Sized Maternity Clothing Manifesto

Thanks to everyone who commented on my previous post about maternity clothing in women of size. I just wanted to add a few more comments.

First, people tend to fall into 2 camps about maternity clothing in plus-sizes. Some would never spend that money for clothing you only wear for a few months, or want to spend as little as possible on it. Others fervently want to wear maternity-specific clothing instead of just larger sizes because it's fitted differently and they think you look/are perceived better as a fat person when you wear maternity-specific clothing.

I say there's room for both points of view. I personally really really wanted maternity clothes so people knew I was pregnant as well as fat. I didn't want to just look fatter....not that I had a problem with being fat, just that I wanted people to GET that fat people actually got pregnant too, you know? I also wanted them to know and get excited with me that there was a little baby inside there!! It's fun to share the joy.

But I am also quite pragmatic and had to consider things like finances very carefully because my husband was laid off from his job right after we found out we were pregnant. Even had I had access to all the online maternity fashion then, could I have afforded a lot of it, just for a few months? Probably not so much. But I would have gotten a few pieces....especially so I could look as professional as possible for my job while I had it.

Well, it's all moot because I didn't have any choice in that first pregnancy. As I mentioned before, I couldn't find ANY maternity clothing in my size at all. None. So I made do as best I could.

But now I've had four pregnancies, three after the internet became available, and my financial situation improved over time. So what did I do for the other three pregnancies?

Plus-Sized Maternity Clothing, Post-Internet

Frankly, I did a combination of both approaches. In each successive pregnancy, I bought a few specific maternity-related tops for the "beached whale" end-of-pregnancy phase, and I enjoyed the hell out of actually having maternity-specific clothing. Some of it was cuter than others (and I look at some of what is available now and lament it wasn't available then!), but still, even the less-flattering things beat the skanky "big men's tee" hands-down.

However, I didn't have enough money to buy an all-maternity wardrobe, so I also re-used the empire-waist tops and jumpers from the first pregnancy. I did buy one pair of maternity pants for the last couple of months, but for the most part, I just used non-maternity stretchy knit pants with an elastic waist and had a couple of different sizes available.

Babydoll, empire waist, and trapeze tops from mail-order clothing companies tend to work like maternity tops, so I ordered a couple more of these in bright, bold colors. And because by then I was at home with other kids and didn't have to have a professional wardrobe, I did use men's large potbelly-friendly t-shirts at times too (but only for schlepping around the house!).

So for the most part, because money was never easy with me not working outside the home, I mostly did without a lot of maternity-specific clothing. However, I have to say, I really really enjoyed having a few maternity-specific items by the last couple of months of pregnancy, stuff that really WAS designed for a pregnancy belly.

You really do look better with well-designed maternity-specific stuff, trust me. You deserve to have at least a few of these, even if you are pinching pennies.

Plus-Sized Maternity Only For Mid-Sized Fatties?

However, I do have to point out that most of the internet options I eventually found were for sizes 16-22, with a few 24s if you really searched hard. I usually wear size 24 or 26/28, so it was not so easy to find maternity wear in those sizes, even with the internet.

Again, it seems to go back to the belief that fat women don't have sex, especially larger-sized fat women.....the fashion industry might just be able to bring themselves to believe that middle-sized fat women actually had sex and could get pregnant, but not that larger-sized fat women have sex or could get pregnant. (Augh!)

So I have to send a shout-out to Charlotte at Baby Becoming. She was one of the first (and only) companies to specialize in maternity clothes for a wider variety of plus sizes. She had maternity clothes up to 5-7x. She also provided a lot of telephone and internet love and support for pregnant women of size. Alas, her website seems to be down and I'm not sure she's in business any longer, but the whole plus-size maternity industry owes her a giant word of thanks.

For supersized women (5x or more) who are pregnant, there aren't a lot of maternity-specific options out there anymore. One thing that works for some women is to order from companies that specialize in supersized clothing, and order styles (like empire-waist dresses etc.) that tend to work with pregnancy bellies. Since most supersized women carry a little smaller anyhow, this usually works.....but I would still advocate that maternity companies consider adding a couple of items on the larger end of sizing, or that companies that specialize in supersizes add a couple of maternity-specific items to their lines as well. Supersized women deserve cute maternity clothes too!

A Few Sample Plus-Size Maternity Companies

I also have to send kudos to J.C. Penney, whose mail-0rder catalogue carried plus-size maternity long before most other companies did. They were the very first place I found plus-sized maternity wear, and I actually could have bought maternity clothes from them in that first pregnancy, had I only known they carried them back then.

Another plus is that they do tend to be fairly reasonably priced compared to many companies, although on the downside, their stylings tend to be a bit bland. But overall, this is a wide-reaching, good option for women of size, and they were one of the first companies to really reach out to this market niche. Bravo to them for recognizing and meeting this need.

One piece of good news is that some companies that didn't carry plus-size maternity in the past now seem to be carrying it....companies like Motherhood Maternity, Old Navy, etc. Yay!! More choice is good! And some of the stuff I see now is reasonably cute too, instead of the usual old caftan and tent options.

Lane Bryant now has online ordering for maternity-specific clothing, and some of it is even relatively cute. Although I have many issues with Lane Bryant as a company, it does remain a very accessible option for many women. So there's that choice as well.

One place to start searching for plus-size maternity clothes is http://www.plusmommaternity.com/, because they search a bunch of different companies for clothes suitable for pregnant big moms, and then list them (complete with pictures and links) all at one site. That's pretty handy. However, I was disappointed to notice most sizes still only go up to about a 3x. Sometimes they list a piece as going up to larger sizes, but when you follow the link, the only sizes available are much smaller. Hopefully, the size range that is regularly available will get expanded over time....but unfortunately, that's up to the various designers and retailers, not the websites that organize the information. All we can do is keep reminding the designers and retailers that there is a maternity market in larger sizes.

Maternity Wardrobe on a Budget

These companies are all well and great, but what if you are really short on cash? A maternity-specific wardrobe can cost a pretty penny. What do you do if you don't have many pennies?

Again, most women of size don't have to have an elaborate maternity-related wardrobe. A few key maternity shirts and pants for those last beached-whale months are helpful, but for most of the pregnancy, you can really get by without a lot of maternity stuff.

Of course, a lot depends on your particular build. Women who are on the smaller side of plus-sized tend to need a lot more maternity stuff, whereas supersized women tend not to need much maternity stuff at all. Women who are apple-shaped tend to need more maternity stuff because they already have more in the middle, so they need a maternity cut to allow for a pregnancy belly too. Women who are busty on top tend not to need as much maternity stuff because they already buy a bit bigger up-top, so then there's more room for expanding baby bellies underneath.

So you never know what you are going to need for sure; you may be surprised at how much you can "get by" with regular clothes you already own if you need to save money. I do think it's a good idea to have a few key maternity-related pieces to fall back on; a few maternity tops for near the end, maybe some maternity pants or skirts (especially for those on the smaller side of large). But if you need to save pennies, remember that a few key items are often enough to get by.

A really good option for getting some cheap maternity-specific clothing in plus-sizes is eBay. A lot of plus-sized women put their maternity clothing up for sale there, so it's a great way to get a bunch of pregnancy clothing cheaply.

And let me just put in a plug for donating your maternity clothing after you are sure you are done having children. You can sell it on eBay if you need the cash, but please, consider giving at least some of that plus-sized clothing to charities that serve women in need. They are chronically short of plus-sized maternity clothing, and often write to me via my website, looking for donations.

So please, sell on eBay if you wish to recoup some of your costs, but also consider donating a couple of things to these charities (some contact info available on my website). About half of pregnancies in this country are unplanned; imagine how hard it must be for really poor women of size to cope with an unexpected pregnancy and the accompanying maternity clothing needs. Pretty daunting stuff. Please consider helping out our less-advantaged sisters.

Women of Size in Other Countries

Here in United States, we now have some choices for plus-size maternity clothes. However, women of size in other countries often face very limited choices, as we did here not that long ago.

I do have sections on my maternity clothing FAQs that cover non-USA countries, although at this time it mostly covers only the UK, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada. Frankly, even this information is older now, so I'm sure that much of it needs updating anyhow. I would encourage women from these and other countries to email me via my website about choices available in your area (either new or updated info).

I'd also point out that there are a few companies that do utilize mail-order to various countries around the world, if you have the money to pursue that. And there is also information on my site about sewing your own maternity clothes, if sewing is among your skills.

Final Thoughts

It's fantastic that we live in the age of the internet and have so many more choices in plus-size clothing than we did before. One of the fashion categories that has particularly benefitted has been plus-sized maternity clothing.....and it's about damn time!

Even so, maternity lines and designers still seem to be ignorant that women over 3x get pregnant and need maternity clothing too. And although there is some stuff available in 4x or more, it's hard to find and choices are limited. Let's get more stuff available for women of all sizes! And cute stuff too, not just tents, thank you very much.

Do be aware that if you are on a budget, as a plus-sized woman you are not as likely to need as much maternity-specific clothing as an average-sized woman. You really don't have to spend a lot of money for maternity clothes if you don't want to or cannot afford to.

Depending on your body type and build, you may even be able to get by with very little specialty clothing during pregnancy.....if that's how you prefer to handle it. But being able to get by with less maternity clothing doesn't mean it shouldn't be available at all. The plus-size maternity option should be there for those who want it!

Also remember that even if you're on a budget, there are always options like consignment shops and eBay to help you find what you need for a lot cheaper than buying new. There are also many patterns available online for those who sew.

Finally, even if you can't afford much maternity wear, do try to find a few pieces (maternity-specific or not) that are bright and colorful and make you feel good about yourself. Don't hide in dark colors and tents, but find some pieces that make you look and feel fabulous.

Pregnancy changes your body in so many ways, and it's often also a time of big emotional changes too; pregnancy is challenging to the self-concept of most woman, regardless of size. Therefore, it's so important to do little things for yourself that help you feel good.

The top choices on my pregnancy "treat yourself" list are nice maternity clothing choices, pregnancy massages (even if it's only from your partner!), and long warm soaks in the tub. Ahhhh!

Indulge yourself!! Pamper yourself!! And start it off with clothing that makes you feel good.

Fashion Newsflash: Fat Women Actually Have Sex!

I read with some amusement the recent press release about a study finding that fat women actually do have sex.

Gasp!!! Who'da thunk it??!!??

They don't come right out and say it directly, but some of the subtext of the press release seems to be amazement that fat women are actually having sex, or perhaps even more amazingly to them, that there are men out there that want to have sex with fat women.

It's that same kind of reasoning that's been behind so many delays in the fashion industry for plus-sized women. They just don't seem to believe that fat chicks actually go on dates, go to the prom, get married, or have babies.

Bottom line, they seem to have difficulty believing that fat women have sex at all. Surprise!

The Plus-Size Fashion Vacuum

Because I'm middle-aged and grew up before the age of the internet, this plus-sized fashion vacuum hit me particularly hard, as I'm sure it did many others in the pre-internet days. [You young whippersnappers, you need to appreciate the wonders of having the internet as a resource!]

When I was in high school, I had a heck of a time finding nice clothes in my size, even though I was closer to "normal" sizes then (size 16 generally, sometimes an 18 or a 14).

My mom had to sew many of my clothes for me because most stores stopped then at size 12 or 14, and of the ones that went to a size 16......well, I just didn't fit their silhouette very well (too much of an hourglass instead of an apple).

I realize now it was a great act of love for her to sew for me like that (and what a blessing for me that she did know how to sew!), but her tastes and mine were not that close so it didn't always feel like a blessing. I really really wanted more fashionable clothes, stuff without polyester and elastic waists, you know?

I remember my shock and total disbelief my junior year when I actually found a prom-suitable gown in my size. I was thrilled. The clothing store employees kept throwing open the dressing room curtain to see if I was shoplifting because I stood there sooooo long, staring at myself in disbelief in the mirror. It was so beautiful, and I looked so good in it! You better believe I bought it!

Then I gained a bunch of weight in college (combination of undiagnosed hypothyroidism and PCOS, in which a strong weight gain in early adulthood is all too common) and it got even harder to find clothes in my size. I often resorted to running around in men's overalls because that's about all I could find in my size and non-existent price range. (They made clothing in larger sizes for MEN, but not for women, of course....but that's a whole 'nuther discussion!)

Yet imagine.....I still somehow managed to find a man anyhow, and we fell in love, overalls and all.

When Mr. WellRounded and I decided to get married, I went out to try and find a wedding gown......but there were none to be found in my size. Not ANYWHERE. Not in small towns, not in big towns, not even in a major metropolitan area.

I could go to a bridal store and hold up a dress against me and guess that it might look good on me and cross my fingers that when they were done it would fit me reasonably well......but I'd have to take a giant flying leap of faith and order it, pay for it, and then pray it actually worked. That seemed rather risky to me.

So I nixed that idea and contemplated getting married in my overalls. He loved me already in them, why not get married in 'em? Sadly, it looked like it might come down to that.

Finally, I decided, what the hell, it's my wedding, it's worth going into debt a bit. I hired my own seamstress, designed my own dress (neo-Victorian, thank you very much), and had it custom-made for me. I was back to having someone sew for me again, but at least this time I was calling the shots.

It worked out well but I was still ticked that I couldn't find anything in the stores, that I couldn't try out any designs ahead of time to see what worked best on my body, and that the fashion industry completely dismissed the needs of women of size at such an important moment of their lives. How dare they!?!

But the hardest part was yet to come.

The Plus-Sized Maternity Clothing Vacuum

Fast forward a few years, and Mr. WellRounded and I decided to have children. Took about a second to get pregnant despite dire predictions to the contrary (that's a whole 'nuther story too!).

So sooner than I began expecting, I went out looking for maternity clothes in my size....only to find that NONE existed. In fact, some clerks were openly hostile about having me in their maternity store at all. I remember going into a couple of them, only to have a clerk precipitously rush over to me and inform me that they didn't carry anything in "that" size in their store. When I asked them where I should go instead, they shrugged their shoulders and suggested buying a size larger in the plus-size stores.

They were really in a rush to get me out of their store; I think they didn't want to scare away the skinny women who might not want to be associated with a store selling "fat" clothes.

There was one clerk in one store that assured me that they had my size. Oh, my hopes were so high! I was beginning to panic about possibly needing to go naked during my pregnancy, and while I was pretty self-accepting, I wasn't too sure how the people at my job would feel about that!

She proudly hauled out one thing in an "XL" size (which generally fits about a 16/18, which I had long since left behind in teenagehood). Of course, it wasn't anywhere near suitable. She just assumed that an XL would fit anyone who was plus-sized. Ummmm, no!! There are different sizes of plus! So once again, I was without choices.

The long and the short of it is that I went through my entire first pregnancy without maternity clothes. None, zero, zip, zilch, nada.

How did I manage? Well, I did the only thing I could do. I went to the plus-sized stores (where I was already at the top of the size range, or close) and found the loosest clothes I could dig up, bought a few empire-waisted jumpers or trapeze tops, and then relied on loose-fitting tops and sweat pants with drawstrings I could loosen. Not the most professional-looking clothes for my job, but what else could I do? I had no other options.

By the end of the month eight, I was down to wearing 2-3 outfits, over and over and over again, each week the same exact clothes in order because I had so few choices. I was just lucky that I didn't have to work my last month (due to moving) because by then almost nothing fit....certainly nothing professional-looking. It was sweats and the biggest men's potbelly-friendly t-shirts I could find. It was really embarrassing.

That at least got me by to some degree for clothing, but I was really panicked about what I was going to do for nursing bras once the baby arrived. I could hardly find a regular bra in my cup size; how would I find one in an even larger cup size? With accessible flaps? OMG, I was really sweating that one.

I was lucky; a midwife at my doctor's practice had recently come across a brand-new business a few hundred miles away that specialized in hard-to-find nursing bra sizes. She had some flyers at the office and gave me one just before I moved. I was able to get some nursing bras in my size...miracle of miracles!.....just before I gave birth. Again it was by faith that the size would be right, because we had to do it all by mail....but at least I finally found something.

However, the humiliation of having to go through my entire pregnancy without maternity clothes really stayed with me. I knew I couldn't have been the only other plus-sized woman to have a baby in the history of the universe. Why wasn't someone, somewhere, addressing this?

I really caught on fire to try and change things and spread the word about the needs of plus-sized pregnant women.

It was shortly after this that the internet really started taking off, and I actually began to find a few companies here and there that did carry maternity clothes in my size. So I put together a FAQ on finding plus-sized maternity and nursing clothing.

I became active on the fat-acceptance bulletin boards, and would forward my FAQ when someone asked about maternity clothing for women of size. Within a short while, that got turned into my website, http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/, along with other information about being pregnant at larger sizes, and my particular niche of fat acceptance activism was born.

The plus-size maternity and nursing clothes FAQs are still there on my site, updated periodically (another update is due soon). Google makes it much easier to find such information these days, but it's still a good place to begin for someone just starting their maternity clothes search, or for women of size looking for more unusual maternity-related products like pregnancy support belts, birth balls that support larger sizes, nursing pillows that work for well-endowed women, nursing bras in unusual cup/band sizes, that sort of thing.

[I should probably mention that it's merely a clearinghouse for information on various vendors; I don't sell anything on the site whatsoever and I don't get kickbacks from any of the vendors in order to be listed there. It's a totally non-profit site.]

Still A Long Ways To Go

But while the internet has made a HUGE difference in finding clothing in larger sizes (including specialty stuff like wedding, costumes, and maternity), it still amazes me how many designer lines still don't design for us.

I think it all comes back to this idea that fat women don't have sex. Some folks in the fashion industry really seem to believe that fat women don't date, don't get married, and don't have babies.

Well, newsflash, designers!!! Fat women do date, we do get married, and we DO have babies. Yes, it's true.........fat women DO have sex!!!

Research even confirms this now, so maybe you can finally start believing it.

It's about time you designers and clothing store managers get on the stick and get more plus-sized choices out there.....for "regular" clothing, for fancy dress, for business wear, for weddings, for costumes, for athletic wear, and yes, for MATERNITY too!!!

Yes, fat women have babies too. And fancy that, we'd even like to have the option for maternity clothes for that time as well.

[Invitation to comments: If you have had a baby, how did YOU solve the maternity clothing issue? Was this pre- or post-internet?]

Note: It may take a couple of days for the comments to appear, but I'm very interested in your own experiences. Please do share.